Ask Lemmy

Escaped religion.

Learned a trade that I love as a career (industrial electrician), fell in love with my boyfriend, bought and renovated a home from 1890 together, plan to get married eventually!

Surprisingly (to me), having a child. I never wanted kids. Never even babysat, didn't like them-- hated how silly, loud, and disgusting they are. Then I got pregnant by accident. I was terrified. I was abused as a child and have a bad temper, so I was afraid I would lose it and hurt my kid. Pregnancy was difficult, labor and delivery moreso, but the instant he popped out ... I cannot describe to you the transformation. I am sure it is purely hormonal; pitocin is a helluva drug. My husband even said, "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" It was akin to a lobotomy. Suddenly I adored babies and wanted to hold them and coo at them. I became more mellow and patient, went from the sort of conservative mindset that thinks "get a job," to the theretofore incomprehensible liberal views like "most in jail aren't really to blame for the circumstances they find themselves in, let's help them instead of punish them."

My son is by far the biggest blessing in my life. He is a companion that I never grow tired of, a wise sounding board, and a balm to my old age. I am literally a kinder, better person because I had him.

Getting sober

It allowed me to actually sort through all of my mental health problems and confront myself on who I was and who I wanted to be

Not to mention how much my physical health has improved

It was honestly the hardest thing I've done as well given that I started drinking when I was 12.

I've been sober now for 6 years

Edit: In 6 years it will go from "the longest I've been sober since I started drinking" to "The longest stretch of time I've been sober in my whole life"

Got blitzed out of my mind on ecstasy and mushrooms and wrote some passionate emails which got me a full scholarship

being born in a place where i am not genocided for being myself (yet)

Absolutely meeting my husband. Joining the military absolutely laid the groundwork for breaking out of my conservative/republican ideology, but it was truly the work my husband put into me to pull me in Progressive thinking. I tell him all the time how he's made me into a MUCH better human being.

My best thing happened unexpectedly on March 15, 1973. (Probably makes me the oldest person in the room.) My high school guidance counselor died in his sleep. Bummer for him, but lucky for me. Back in the ’60s, my school system had me pegged as a gifted student, which was a one-size fits all label. That tag followed me to high school, where as a green sophomore, I was assigned the "gifted" guidance counselor, Mr. Daly. Daly was also a history teacher, and greatly loved and admired. He was a retired USMC Vietnam vet, and suffered from Marfan syndrome, giving him a strange and imposing appearance. He was a force of nature, that guy. I was 15 when we first met, and I had no idea about what I would do with my life. Because of my label, Daly had it all figured out. In his mind I was on my way to become a doctor, lawyer, CEO, etc. Yeah — no thanks. I had no goals, only passions — Photography and Design. I wanted to enroll in my school's tech classes and follow my interests. Daly squashed that idea. Wasn't going to happen. I was heartbroken. As a kid of 15 I had no leverage, and didn't know how I could get what I wanted. My parents were no help; "He probably knows best" was the best they could do. A few weeks later, when I came to school on the 16th of March, word was that Mr. Daly had died the previous night. While the school was in mourning, I was a pretty happy kid. My new counselor had no objections to me taking the photo and design track. :: After high school, university and some preliminary jobs, I started my own marketing communications business (then called freelancing, today gig work) and continued for 30+ years by myself. Of course the work had its ups and downs, but I was happy and always employed. :: Now I'm 66 and retired, and I always wonder what my life would be like if Mr. Daly had lived and imposed his vision on my life. Guess I got lucky. :: Rest in peace, Mr. D.

By luck: meeting my husband online in a random forum. Self explanatory.

By choice: getting top surgery (a double mastectomy). What a literal and figurative weight off my chest! Being able to just walk outside without wrestling into a binder or being worried about if people noticed my chest was such a game changer. You don’t realize what a gift it is to be able to get up and go outside on a whim until you can’t do it.

Meeting my wife. She’s the best and I’m better off because of her.

My son was born healthy. Became a father I guess would be more "to me"...

Had both my lungs collapsed. Forced me to quit pot which made my life take a 180 degree turn.

Cutting ties with my dad, he was a giant angry child who would verbally and mentally abuse me and my mother and other family members.

Haven't spoken to him in over 5 years and I've gotten overall happier and healthier both physically and mentally.

I had a zit on my armpit that made an audible pop, my soul still shivers from that one. Also marrying my husband.

I got a steam deck recently. I can't decide if this is one of the best or one of the worst decisions I've ever made. I love it to death and I've been playing stuff with retrodeck almost non-stop since I got it, however, I've been playing stuff with retrodeck almost non-stop since I got it.

The hobby I've had since highschool turned into my career. I'm glad I didn't follow my parents wishes and went down my own path.

stares blankly at screen

Transitioning 🏳️‍⚧️

Met my partner who shares the same mental disorder, the only person I know who could teach me to cope and become a functional adult when I had almost lost all hope.

It was a dream and then it happened. I'm sure there are other better more permanent things but that'll be a happy memory for a long time.

Living as an openly gay man. It felt like I was finally able to breathe

I have a job I really love

Meeting my girlfriend!

Psychedelics, wife, kid, finding a fun job, realising my parents are kind of assholes and I wasn't such a bad kid.

My life is one lucky decision after another and I couldn't be happier with where I ended up. Fucked off in high school but somehow got into college (jk, I know how I got in ($$)), dropped out, fucked around, went to school for my current field literally to buy time, fucked around but got out, fucked around at work and decided to join the service. Fucking around was frowned upon so I finally turned it around. Came out, got better at civilian job, lived with friends from the service for one year in a town that happened to be like 25 miles from where my future wife was just finishing school, and so our dating profile search rings matched up for all of a couple months.

Bought a house months after meeting my future wife and it was she either moves home and we go long distance or she sticks around and figures out a rooming situation with her then roommates. That was a decade ago, and two kids, and I live on a block with seven or eight other young families in a walkable neighborhood, my kids will walk to school when they're older, ride their bikes around, we hang out and socialize regularly with neighbors. And it's all because I fucked around in high school.

My daughter. Although she has a lot of issues and it has been a very hard road, she has made me a better person and a less angry person. She is definitely by far the best thing that ever happened to me. My biggest fear is outliving her.

The woman I loved decided to give it a go. 13 years later, we're a super happy family.

PS: also, being bi and resisting the social urge to "be true to myself" and go gay, assuming the straight part was obviously bullshit.

Said screw it and moved to Korea.

I was incredibly lucky and met a Korean in school, so I was able to get all the info I needed about what to expect. I've been here 3 years now, sure I miss my family and friends but I've been granted a new life.

To anyone who thinks their life sucks: move. Everyone has an excuse, but at the end of the day you'll either stay where you are until you die, or you'll go somewhere new.

Bought a house for $18,000 during the mid 90's in a run down neighborhood. Now the neighborhood is the most desirable in an urban city. After the 2007 real estate crash I was able to move to suburbs and I rent out my original house. It was more luck than anything plus a willingness to live in a rough part of town. I'm always playing a game in my head now. What neighborhood is next?

Wife & kids

Falling in love

Being diagnosed with extreme MTHFR, getting on a high dose of methylfolate and the correct meds.

Went from having daily, very heavy brain fog to zero. Thought for years I was just lazy and stupid. Doing simple things left me more mentally exhausted than others, and I just thought everyone felt like I did, but were better at pushing through it.

Turns out, not lazy or stupid at all.

Went back to school, got my AA and into a field desperate to hire. Doubled my salary.

That's a long list but here's a few things.

• Going to therapy.
• Being willing to forgive and make peace with my dad.
• Seeking medical treatment for my ADHD.
• Getting a septoplasty. (Who knew being able to breathe through you nose was so great.)
• Divorcing my first wife, who is a truly awful person.
• Saying yes to a date with my (now) wife, who is an awesome person.
• Learning to love myself just the way I am.
• Taking an active role in managing my finances.

Love finding me. I'm not particularly feely and didn't have examples of loving couples growing up. Did not see that coming, wasn't on the horizon at all. Got lucky.

Cliche but meeting my partner, girl has saved me from so many dumb decisions and she has no idea.