this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
274 points (94.2% liked)

Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
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Anon is an alpha (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 90 points 10 months ago

I’m sorry, we’re only suppose to be posting fake stories here.

[–] outer_spec@lemmy.blahaj.zone 85 points 10 months ago (1 children)

whoever wrote this post was definitely writemaxxing and postmogging

[–] MindSkipperBro12@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

Absolutely realmaxxing all the way

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 76 points 10 months ago

Never did I ever think I would see the words "jestermaxxed" and "charismamog" ever in my life. Much less in one sentence.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 62 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (5 children)

I’m very much OOTL in this topic, are all or these terms real, or is anon intentionally going over the top, inventing fictional terms to parodize incels/PUAs?

E.g. I of course need no explanation on Rolexmog, but no idea about canthalmog or Gorilla Mind.

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It's all "real", but I'm not sure anybody would ever say it. Canthal tilt is something about your eyes, Gorilla Mind is a supplement of some sort.

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 36 points 10 months ago (2 children)

lol who the fuck is Derek

[–] InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works 10 points 10 months ago

Probably the dude that told too many people he owned gorillamind

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

Youtuber "MPMD", previously bodybuilding-focused.

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 22 points 10 months ago

At this point in history ..... there's a high likelihood that it could be parody and humour ..... or an actual fantasy that a small group of people believe could be true.

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Asking the important questions! What does "mog" even mean here?

[–] TheOneAndOnly@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Seconded! Someone explain me, please?

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 2 points 10 months ago

Guessing it’s something like dominating, bullying from the context. But honestly no idea either the whole post is insane

[–] lgstarn@kbin.social 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] lars@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 10 months ago

when they renamed HBO again I canthalmax

[–] Landmammals@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

If these things are real, I don't want to know

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

>17.7 cm

Nice

[–] evidences@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

They should have gone with 17.5 since 17.7 rounds up.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Google says 17.7 inches is two of the funny number

[–] evidences@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Ahhh missed that, it's .696850 so I didn't see that and Google rounded up.

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 16 points 10 months ago

and I'm even taking Gorilla Mind

Monke isn't capable to be so delusional.

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

Sometimes greentexts are good

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 3 points 10 months ago

I have no idea what half of that means.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 10 months ago 
> inb4 people not realising it's satire