That kid is a future Self-Made Man™, working harder and intelligently taking advantage of opportunities that those poors are too stupid and lazy to jump on.
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
That tree house looks pretty nice ngl
And then 15 years from now, little Timmy Schweitz will be on all the magazines and all the talk shows telling us about how he started his...
... uh sure why not...
... his block buster franchise of combination teledildonic 'best orgasm of your life guaranteed!' / suicide booths...
... all started when he taught himself architecture and engineering an mowed lawns all year during summer break at age 8 to build this luxury tree house and operate it as a landlord but technically not a landlord for ten years, securing his seed capital for his aforementioned franchise of 'blow your load then blow your brains out' booths.
He will be adored by tens, hundreds of millions who will argue that he is saving the environment, the economy and the very stability of what remains of 'civilization' by ethically easing the passage of the unproductive into the afterlife.
A true genius, a daring, stalwart man with humble beginnings, with a determination of steel, and the noblest of goals.
Wilmette, IL
Oh yeah, that tracks. It's the details that make it special.
Damn that’s a good one lol