WHAT A SAVE!
this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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EVERYTHING THAT LIVES IS DESIGNED TO END
WE ARE PREPETUALLY TRAPPED IN THIS NEVERENDING SPIRAL OF LIFE AND DEATH
IS THIS A CURSE? OR SOME KIND OF PUNISHMENT?
I OFTEN THINK ABOUT THE GOD WHO BLESSED US WITH THIS CRYPTIC PUZZLE
AND WONDER IF WE'LL EVER GET THE CHANCE TO KILL HIM
HYAAA
THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20 KILO FEROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT! EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE, TO ONE-POINT-THREE PERCENT OF LIGHTSPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE A 38 KILOTON BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH. THAT MEANS, SIR ISACC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE! NOW! SERVICEMAN BURNSIDE, WHAT IS NEWTON'S FIRST LAW?
SIR! AN OBJECT IN MOTION STAYS IN MOTION, SIR!
NO CREDIT FOR PARTIAL ANSWERS MAGGOT!
SIR! UNLESS ACTED ON BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE, SIR!
DAMN STRAIGHT! I DARE TO ASSUME YOU IGNORANT JACKASSES KNOW THAT SPACE IS EMPTY. ONCE YOU FIRE THIS HUNK OF METAL, IT KEEPS GOING 'TIL IT HITS SOMETHING. THAT CAN BE A SHIP, OR THE PLANET BEHIND THAT SHIP. IT MIGHT GO OFF INTO DEEP SPACE AND HIT SOMEBODY ELSE IN 10,000 YEARS! IF YOU PULL THE TRIGGER ON THIS, YOU ARE RUINING SOMEONES DAY! SOMEWHERE AND SOMETIME! THAT IS WHY YOU CHECK YOUR DAMN TARGETS! THAT IS WHY YOU WAIT 'TIL THE COMPUTER GIVES YOU A DAMN FIRING SOLUTION. THAT IS WHY, SERVICEMAN CHUNG, WE DO NOT 'EYEBALL IT'. THIS IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION! YOU ARE NOT A COWBOY, SHOOTING FROM THE HIP!
SIR, YES SIR!
LEON!
GUARDIANS MAKE THEIR OWN FATE
DO NOT DESTROY VITAL TESTING APPARATUS
I'M A MIGHTY PIRATE!
βTHATβS THE SECOND BIGGEST MONKEY HEAD IβVE EVER SEEN!β
EXPLOSIONSβ½
SHAZBOT!
NEED A DISPENSER HERE!
"WHY DID I FOLLOW HIM...? I DON'T KNOW. WHY DO THINGS HAPPEN AS THEY DO IN DREAMS? ALL I KNOW IS THAT, WHEN HE BECKONED... I HAD TO FOLLOW HIM. FROM THAT MOMENT, WE TRAVELED TOGETHER, EAST. ALWAYS... INTO THE EAST."
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ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE!
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
CATCH A RIDE!
MY NAMEEEEE IS GYOBU MASATAKA ONIWA!!!!!!
STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM
YOU SPOONY BARD!
HYA! HUH! HA!
WORMSIGN SPOTTED!
THE WORST OF TIMES ARE WHEN LAWYERS HAVE TO FORCE THEIR BIGGEST SMILES!!!
FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO. "VAMP" ISN'T FOR "VAMPIRE", IT'S BECAUSE HE'S BISEXUAL.
YOUR HOME BED WAS MISSING OR OBSTRUCTED
DEFINITION: 'LOVE' IS MAKING A SHOT TO THE KNEES OF A TARGET 120 KILOMETERS AWAY USING AN ARATECH SNIPER RIFLE WITH A TRI-LIGHT SCOPE. LOVE IS KNOWING YOUR TARGET, PUTTING THEM IN YOUR TARGETING RETICULE, AND TOGETHER, ACHIEVING A SINGULAR PURPOSE AGAINST STATISTICALLY LONG ODDS.
THAT'S A NICE HEAD YOU HAVE ON YOUR SHOULDERS
VOODOO 1, VIPER'S ON STATION. YOUR JOURNEY ENDS HERE, PILOT. THE SKIES BELONG TO ME. NOWHERE TO RUN, NOWHERE TO HIDE.
GO FOR THE EYES BOO! GO FOR THE EYES! RAAAARGH
I FEEL IT! I FEEL THE COSMOS
DO A BARREL ROLL!
MISSILE MISSILE! STALL WARNING! PULL UP!
I HAVE NOT. COME THIS FAR.. TO DIE NOW!
AAH, KOS, OR SOME SAY KOSM... DO YOU HEAR OUR PRAYERS? AS YOU ONCE DID FOR THE VACUOUS ROM, GRANT US EYES, GRANT US EYES! PLANT EYES ON OUR BRAINS TO CLEANSE OUR BEASTLY IDIOCY!
MAJESTIC! A HUNTER IS A HUNTER EVEN IN A DREAM.
AWWWWOOOOOOO
KAIRI'S INSIDE ME?
AAAH SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN...