this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
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Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing.

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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 78 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Sleep on her side of the bed. Then don’t tell her what you did.

[–] GregorTacTac@lemm.ee 20 points 7 months ago

This is some next-level chaos.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

She'll know. The smell. Also the breadcrumbs.

[–] SadLuther@lemmy.kya.moe 6 points 7 months ago

And bits of dried pizza cheese.

[–] SuperSynthia@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago (1 children)

When my partner is out of town, I put porn on the big screen

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

When my partner is out of town that's the one time I splurge for an actual porn subscription

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 28 points 7 months ago

Do what I do, plan for porn, fastfood and beer. In reality you buy a six pack of your old brand, then drink half a beer with a large cheeseburger. Get queasy from the burger and fall a sleep before you manage to play with yourself. Wake up to find that the dog ate your fries and got diarrhea, which you slept through on account of the beer. Now clean up dog diarrhea with hangovers while swearing that you'll never drink half a beer.

LPT: disable the roomba before sitting down, and make sure that the dog has been walked...

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 28 points 7 months ago (1 children)

He said he only had a weekend though.

[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 28 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Don't change your underwear for two days.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] zloubida@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago

I'm proud of you.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

"Alcohol and weed don't sound appealing."

We are not the same meme

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

I lasted like 40 mins before hitting the vape pen

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago

Again, Factorio

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[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Try a tab of lsd and go for a nice walk in the woods

[–] beercupcake@sopuli.xyz 6 points 7 months ago

Just to add to this. Take a nice shower, eat something light, wear comfy cloths, and take your trip. Stay safe, enjoy, and have bottle of water with you :)

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Ugh. I hate it when people have a far easier time than I do finding drugs. Every dealer assumes I’m a cop

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[–] JoBo@feddit.uk 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 7 months ago

Sext her sister's BIL

[–] Saigonauticon@voltage.vn 13 points 7 months ago

Ooh, study for 14 hours straight and forget to eat! That's usually what I do. Wild times.

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

If you don’t like alcohol or weed, cocaine is a helluva drug.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Heh yeah. I'll just call up my xoke dealer.

Edit:

bout to get wild

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 7 months ago

Aww yeah, gonna get the iron warmed up for an all nighter

[–] all-knight-party@kbin.run 12 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I watch horribly artsy movies or put speed runs on the big TV, blast music aloud, I order a pizza, and I consume the substances you don't find appealing, and I wear the same clothes the entire time without changing

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[–] federalreverse@feddit.de 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago (2 children)

What about the sink I poop in?

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] scorpious@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

Waffle stomp!

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[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

You guys are amazing

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Cocaine feels like a good time.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Cocaine feels like the need for more cocaine.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No one has ever been more correct.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

A strong few years of devoted, in-depth field research on the subject yielded this insight and…not much else. Still trying to get published, maybe in High Times Investigative Quarterly (they’re an academic outfit, right?)

Rearrange the lounge, or if you want to play it safe, maybe just the shed

[–] jtom@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

grind leetcode

[–] ForgetPrimacy@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 7 months ago

Have you thought of lipstick and nail polish?

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 7 months ago

Truest statement.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 3 points 7 months ago

Buy one of those silicone eggs to jerk off with

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