this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2024
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[–] neidu2@feddit.nl 77 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

Drink some oil as well. Partially to displace the stomach acid, but also to allow for the kernels to pop.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 94 points 7 months ago (2 children)

And salt and butter. No one likes plain popcorn.

[–] the_rogue@sh.itjust.works 21 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Also roll and eat an alloy wrap so you can take the rest home without it getting cold.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

...corpsecorn?

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 35 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This thread has some of the best medical advice I’ve ever found on the interwebs

[–] monsterlynn@kbin.social 29 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 25 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Am i percornate? How does girl become precornt?

[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 4 points 7 months ago

with poopcorns

[–] HopingForBetter@lemmings.world 2 points 7 months ago

Can have "insert-pickle" for taste will touch top od poplxorn kurnls?

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Would you need oil with body fat rendering?

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

And shove a stick of dynamite up Your ass. Not necessarily before you die.

[–] ChillDude69@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I heard something about pacemakers occasionally being left in bodies by mistake, and becoming small bombs in the crematorium ovens. That's gotta be a trip, the first time you hear that shit.

And then you probably have to get the oven inspected, to make sure the incident didn't damage the gas lines. And that probably costs at LEAST a few thousand dollars. And probably tens of thousands, if something does need to be fixed. So, like, I'm pretty sure the boss is only going to let one of those slide, maximum, before you're out on your ass.

[–] Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Or take out each heart and yell Kalima! No way to miss the pacemaker this way I think.

/S

[–] ChillDude69@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 7 months ago

Now you're thinkin'.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 60 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The body is often "prepared" for the funeral before it is cremated, so tape a couple hundred dollars to your chest with a note asking the preparer to leave your guts intact. Usually an underpaid apprentice does this, so there's a chance they'll go for it.

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Someone apprentices at crematorium?

[–] Auduras@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

An old coworker of mine at some part-time gig went to school and studied "Mortuary Science". Absolutely fascinated me. He had a second job at a crematorium where he was an apprentice.

After him telling me that, I realized that I never thought about how someone got into that field. Never really considered someone going to school to do this as a career (which now I realize is obvious, but I never connected the dots).

Always assumed people working at a crematorium or a cemetery was a cliche old decrepit guy.

[–] Senseless@feddit.de 30 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Hm. At first I thought this was a Linux meme.

[–] summerof69@lemm.ee 4 points 7 months ago

The guy's face when OP OD'd on Linux Kernels, RIP

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Also maybe see if you can wolf down an entire pickle. The cremator may be a pickle-with-popcorn kind of fella.

[–] ChillDude69@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Is that a thing? I've never tried eating pickles with popcorn. But now I'm kinda curious.

Unless it's just code for some weird sex act. Then, probably not. I don't want to lick anybody's briny dong.

[–] variants@possumpat.io 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Would you want your kernel popped

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

He wants the oiliest seed, am I right?

[–] Qwaffle_waffle@sh.itjust.works 1 points 7 months ago

Gotta ask for consent first, this is discussed on make some noise BTW.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago

No code here, although that's hilarious.

[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I would imagine it's too wet and would boil instead of popping

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Popping is boiling, but you need the area around the kernel to be hotter than boiling. Outside you need oil.

So really, you’d need to shotgun blast them into your own belly fat to accomplish cremation popcorn.

Or drink a slurry of peanut oil full of popcorn kernels.

Jesus christ I’m on a list now

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 4 points 7 months ago

I like practical thinkers !

[–] JCreazy@midwest.social 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Make sure you chug some oil so the popcorn actually pops and doesnt burn

[–] scifun@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

And this is the reason for death in the first place.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)
[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 5 points 7 months ago

Popcorn pops at about 180°C, and execution by electric chair apparently gets you to 100°C, so no.

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 7 points 7 months ago

THIS IS SOME GOOD SPAGHETTI BROH

[–] krondo@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Soooo ... Corn ? 🌽🌽🌽

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 7 months ago

Actually no, popcorn’s a specific breed of corn. I think. Small enough kernels to withstand pressure longer or something like that.