this post was submitted on 26 Mar 2024
116 points (91.4% liked)

The Onion

4577 readers
1543 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

“No sense in letting my 40 identical gingham blouses go to waste.”

all 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 71 points 8 months ago (5 children)

If I could find a woman who could pay all our bills on one wage I'd go house husband in a fucking heartbeat. I'm the better cook anyway.

If you want to make that your personality thats the weird part.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Once upon a time: most of the jobs that made money were physically demanding or dangerous, birth control was unreliable, infant mortality was high, public primary school and childcare were basically non-existent, and housekeeping(cooking, cleaning, shopping, mending, etc) was a full time job by itself. These factors combined to solidify the role of homemaker, and strongly couple it to the sex which is burdened with pregnancy for half a year and naturally secretes baby food for some time thereafter.

Once upon a time we also shat in quaint wooden closets in the backyard. Modern life contains myriad conveniences which largely reduce and decouple the burdens of the past. There's nothing wrong with indulging in nostalgia if that's your thing, it's just gross to try to impose it on others.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

So its no different to every other culture, ideology, fad or lifestyle choice.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

In this age? Yeah, basically. Like I said, indulge if it's your thing, the problem starts when you start forcing others.

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

That was my point too, the lifestyle sounds great. If you want to hang a bunch of ideological bullshit on it too then thats on you.

[–] ringwraithfish@startrek.website 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Same! I tell my wife all the time I'd be happy to be a house husband. Unfortunately, like many families, we need to be a two income household.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I work from home and do chores between meetings so I'm kind of both

[–] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Damn you're a tradwife and a tradhusband?

[–] sadreality@kbin.social 12 points 8 months ago
[–] ringwraithfish@startrek.website 5 points 8 months ago

Are you me? I'm in the exact same situation. WFH has its benefits, but definitely has some downsides.

It's spring break this week so I said fuck it and took the week off. Wasn't even going to try to juggle work and all the kids home.

[–] 0110010001100010@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

I do the same thing! It's good for me I'm sure too as I don't just sit at my computer for 8 straight hours. Laundry, dishes, trash, whatever I'll do as needed throughout the day.

I will say though, I've started going out more for lunch as dumb as it sounds. If I eat at home I default to eating at my desk which doesn't help with the staring at the screen all day.

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You're a better cook than a hypothetical woman you haven't found?

[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Yeah I meant to type "If my wife could find a job that could..." but my brain backfired.

She might not be a good cook but she really is the brains of the operation.

[–] AstralPath@lemmy.ca 3 points 8 months ago

Ah, the executive-level breadwinning wife.

[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 38 points 8 months ago

​“​I wanted to live all my internalized misogyny, not just dream about it.”

“I believe in choosing a marital structure from an arbitrary point in human history and pretending it represents some kind of inviolable rule.”

“I just couldn’t resist the raw sexual magnetism of an antisocial dipshit who gets all his information from podcast clips on YouTube.”

Never change, Onion. Never change. <3

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They kind of petered out on the last handful but the front half had me cracking up.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 2 points 8 months ago

Danielle really taking a (small) one for the team

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm a single cis hetero male in his late 30s. Got to admit I like the trad wife fantasy. But I also recognise it's just that, a fantasy. Despite the fact it's unlikely I'd get along with the sort of woman who'd agree to that sort of life, who the hell could even afford it? It's something politicians can say "they took from you" so we look at "them" to distract from what those polticians are taking from you.

I work as a Linux engineer (big surprise for a Lemming I know). I don't make a huge amount of money but it's still more than most people I know. I live a fairly comfortable life here in a not so great part of a somewhat deprived working class English town. I couldn't afford to live in the countryside, let alone support someone else whilst there. Maybe if I did have a wife who made our clothes, was able to spend time to shop super frugally and made our food from scratch we'd be OK but we'd still live in relative poverty.

Is that the hope of these trad wife influencers? That we'll be so busy churning our own butter and erecting our own barns like the Amish we'll have no time to react to them conquering the world?

[–] whoreticulture@midwest.social 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I thought Linux engineers would make a lot of money? Especially at your age?

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm a first year apprentice. I'll be fully qualified when I'm 40. If I start contracting after that I could earn some pretty crazy money. Might start looking for a mail order Mrs then, you never know.

[–] whoreticulture@midwest.social 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

that's so creepy dude 😬

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It was also a joke pardner 🤠

[–] whoreticulture@midwest.social 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's a creepy joke! Don't make it!

[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Think I'll do what I like Chief. Might even go that route out of spite. Good ol' fashioned spite wife

[–] whoreticulture@midwest.social 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Do what you will but everyone is going to call you creepy, because you are.