this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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GTA 5 stars (i.imgur.com)
submitted 5 months ago by Mandarbmax@lemmy.world to c/funny@lemmy.world
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[–] 7U5K3N@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 5 months ago

As a man with $40 fabric sheers.... The police were there to just take notes and make space for the coroner.

[–] Jubei_K_08@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If you're dating a stylist, you too can meet the cops after using their shears.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

My mom was an animal groomer when I was a kid. We had fabric shears, fabric scissors, shears for hair, and paper scissors, kitchen scissors, craft scissors, scrapbooking scissors... So many scissors. I never really understood until I started sewing in my 20s. I knew not to use the wrong scissors on pain of death, but I never really understood why.

Now? I will cut a bitch (with the appropriate pair of scissors for bitch-cutting) if they so much as look at my fabric scissors while within 5 feet of a sheet of paper.

[–] The_v@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago

My mother who I haven't seen or spoken to in decades was a horrible excuse of a human being. She loved to sew and spent tons of money we didn't have on it.

As a teenager, I figured out how to sharpen scissors.

I would deliberately use my mom's expensive fabric scissors in front of her to get her to scream (I was taller than her so the backhand across the face wasn't an option). Then when she was gone I would give them a quick sharpening before she used them for fabric.

I would constantly give her shit about how they were still sharp.

Soon everyone in the house used the amazing "never dull" fabric scissors for everything. I sharpened them weekly in secret (only takes 2-3 minutes).

Then I moved out.

The drama that unfolded a month later was truly epic.

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Meanwhile I just bought a pair of scissors that say they're good for leather clothes seatbelts human flesh etc. ~~Is Leatherman still a respectable brand?~~

Edit: boo you can't strikethrough on lemmy

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I would be so pissed, and it's probably a good idea to buy replacement shears.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

"Accidentally"

[–] UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I don't understand. What's the problem here?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

fabric scissors, when they cut anything but fabric - blunts them, making them useless

[–] UraniumBlazer@lemm.ee 2 points 5 months ago

Really? Dayum

[–] desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 months ago

what about burlap sacks?

[–] Theharpyeagle@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago

To clarify, regular paper's stiff fibers and bits of minerals basically act like cutting through very, very fine sandpaper, an issue fabric doesn't really have with its soft and relatively spread out fibers.

[–] fing3r@feddit.de 2 points 5 months ago

Are we all living the same life?!