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I'm kinda sick of walking around Witcher 3's world looking like Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. I'm supposed to be a gruff and grizzled monster hunter, living in a filthy world and at the bottom of the social hierarchy, dishing out menacing threats in a monotone voice, yet I'm dressed in pristine baby blue prince pyjamas because they happen to be the strongest clothes I've come across so far. Let me cut & paste the stats from these Pierrot cumrags into a butcher's apron or something. And let me do it freely, with no in-game wank about having to visit a special magic tailor in the bumhole of nowhere, and with no restrictions on how often I can do it.

Fuckin' 17th century unsuccessful baroque composer lookin' ass. If someone came up to me dressed like my Witcher character, and challenged me to a fight to the death, I'd take the challenge because I know that no just universe or god would allow any harm to come to me from a person wearing that outfit. They could thrust an obsidian-tipped spear directly into my belly, and it'd harmlessly curve around me like a snake climbing a banana tree. The sacred blood of Christ would not allow for even a mild abrasion to befall me by the lace-gloved hand of a ballet theatre's chief bathroom attendant.

For example, in English, you might type something like:

r u going out 2nite?

Instead of:

Are you going out tonight?

How does that sort of thing work when texting in a logographic language? Is it just emoji city, or can they mix and match characters to make things more compact?

And similarly, is there a formal journalistic shorthand system that gets used when jotting down comments in real-time, e.g. in China, Korea or Japan?

Thank you kindly!

I've been hoodwinked too many times by well-reviewed pop-sci books which I later discovered to be hated by the actual scientists who do the work. Quantum Supremacy by Michio Kaku was the final straw 😆

Cheers!

At least 68.8% of the time, I'm right the first time, despite the universe telling me otherwise.

Seriously. how often do you try to plug something into a USB port, find it doesn't fit, switch the orientation, still doesn't fit, switch back to the original orientation, now it fits? 🤷‍

Have more faith in yourselves!

If I wanted to ensure that my land would never be used for a shopping mall or sports stadium, but I nevertheless wanted rid of the land, could I sell it in this almost 'crowdfunded' piecemeal manner and get my money, while also making the red tape involved in consolidating all of those 1-meter-squared chunks too costly to be worth doing?

Obviously no one would want a 1m piece of land, but maybe if they were doing it for activist reasons (like how the Cards Against Humanity people bought land to prevent Trump building his wall), or even as a novelty where they could buy it for their friend as a joke gift, it might be enticing. People could have annual parties where they go to their land and place a little deckchair on it and drink beers with their 'neighbours'.

If it were truly undetectable, I don't think they'd bother. They want to look like one of Trump's lumpen-faced groupies or a washed up Las Vegas magician. Their Hellraisered faces are like a meat-based country club membership card.

That's obviously an exaggeration, but why don't manufacturers of basic cars just put a fancy-looking exterior onto them? Aren't you mainly paying for the engine and electrics and upholstery and sound system with fancy cars? Why is it (seemingly) only Lamborghini and Ferrari that look like Lamborghini and Ferrari? Is chassis manufacturing more difficult than it seems to a numbnut like me? I assume it's just pressing sheets of metal into a mould, so I'm probably way off the mark.

It's like when you see a computer mouse that's named something like GamerStealth eXtreme Zero Pro, and it's the worst piece of shit you've ever used but looks like it came from Area 51. Same for PC cases, actually. Alienware rigs look a million percent better than they actually are. Why is this not also the case for cars?

Full disclosure: I know nothing about cars. I just know that when I see a fancy car, and check the make, it's BMW or something high end, and when I see a pygmy hippo lookin' motherfucker, it's made by one of those "buy one, get one free" type manufacturers that appeal to meth head soccer moms. And by "fancy" I don't even mean "luxury", just obviously high quality. Most BMWs and Rolls-Royce don't look like spaceships, but they nevertheless look really impressive. Again, I need to stress that I know nothing about cars.

Cheers!

Some incredibly good sports! Many more accepted their awards, just not in person. The full list can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_who_have_accepted_Golden_Raspberry_Awards

Paul Verhoeven | Worst Picture/Director | Showgirls (1995)

Acceptance Speech: https://youtu.be/3E7xzEnt2eA

Tom Green | Worst Actor/Director/Picture/Screen Couple/Screenplay | Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Acceptance Speech: https://youtu.be/bLP53aF-BFE

Halle Berry | Worst Actress | Catwoman (2004)

Acceptance Speech: https://youtu.be/U-7s_yeQuDg

Sandra Bullock | Worst Actress/Screen Couple | All About Steve (2009)

Acceptance Speech: https://youtu.be/ghS98BKy29Q

J. David Shapiro | Worst Picture of the Decade | Battlefield Earth (2000)

Acceptance Speech: https://youtu.be/DKlEE18R5d8

I would blast my asshole out with an illegal Mexican firework to destroy the haemorrhoidal nightmare that is my chocolate bunker and then take a sip of health potion and have it grow back normal so I can resume my once-excellent shittings.