I disagree, once your open source project “sprouts wings” you enter an unspoken power battle
You've seen Hackers one too many times. Again you can run your instance however you want, and can defederate from instances that don't implement things they way you are demanding they should, but you do not dictate how others (or the developers) run things.
The beauty of open source is you can always fork your own. The beauty of federation is you can block whoever you want or whatever instance you want.
Other than that, you have no right to demand anything of anyone.
And people wonder why I prefer forums. The "Discordifcation" of everything is out of control.