That would be the funniest outcome so yes, I think so. Trump has to adopt Hunter and try to make him wear a suit to a baseball game. Hunter skips is to smoke crack and listen to Mumford and Sons with a woman he met at a gas station earlier that day
The only question is if crack is Hunter's equivalent to training weights he wears to hide his true strength, or if crack is what grants him his powers
Let them tag team the debate
The stage is set: it's the night of the second debate. Joe shuffles out to the podium, dark Brandon die hards are hoping this night will help him recover from the past week when Biden repeatedly referred to the prime minister of Israel as Yitzhak Rabin. Dems are ecstatic Joe manages the short walk with only one minor stumble. Trump struts out proving he's still capable of walking on his own. The debate opens with Biden barely stringing two coherent sentences together, he somehow blames covid and lack of stimulus checks on mexican immigrants which Trump runs with. Finally, the debate turns to our beautiful veterans. You can see Biden shaking with rage as Trump brags about the troops loving him and accuses Biden of doing nothing for veterans. Biden finally snaps and begins to say the only clear sentence the entire debate:
"Listen here Jack! Beau served this country and gave his life for it, you never served, you dodged the draft!"
He pulls a revolver from his suit and fires at point blank range. The recoil shatters every bone in his arm, the gun flies up into his face breaking his nose. He collapses, hitting his head on the podium killing him instantly.
Trump stands alone on the stage, the bullet having missed him by a country mile. He says something about Biden's shooting being worse than his golf swing
Brandon looks like he's already embalmed. This looks like Obama is unveiling Joe's posthumous wax statue.
Ah my bad, text based sarcasm is difficult to pick out without a tag
Japan is also hyper capitalist with insane exploitation
It's not like they have a word for it or anything...
Armoured vehicles donated to Ukraine by Canada not suitable for driving off road
Lmao what a joke, the MIC can't even make an off road vehicle anymore. They break down when you try to take them cross country. Good thing all war takes place on paved roads then right?
Lmao I missed the last part with him being helped down the stairs, also yea it was incredible how 98% Hitler bungled the abortion question and handed a layup to 99% hitler
Some of the highlights off the top of my head:
-They argued about who's the better golfer
-Biden tried to call Trump a fat liar in the weakest possible way, it did not land at all
-Whenever Trump was speaking Biden was either in standby mode or being jokerfied on stage
-Multiple instances of Biden completely losing the plot and going off on unrelated tangents
-Trump called Biden Brandon to his face
-the time Brandon said something along the lines of "and one more thing" and stopped dead and just stared
There were others but those are some of the bits I remember
Whatever they were giving him before the debate sure as hell wasn't working lol
Someone else further down even pointed out that it was actually the British that strapped people to cannon muzzles to execute them, not the DPRK
additional tags: Lalala, cant-hear-you, ignore-protest, modern-democratic-party
original image
I don't know how many of you are familiar with Ryan Mcbeth and his osint youtube channel, but he's also written a novel that's so odd and full of all sorts of American brainworms that I just have to share it. The backbone of America is the Mormons and the Nauvoo Legion, a sleazy exploitative pornographer plays a large part in saving America, Ospreys fly and don't crash, Muslims are bribed to start a jihad against the handmaiden's tale government, and there's a focus on and fascination with gay refugees specifically that just strikes me as weird as hell at the least.
I don't even know what else to say but I can't be the only one cursed with this knowledge
Also he's just such a le epic reddit whiskey and cigar guy that HAS NEVER EATEN SOY and he needs you to know this
I think my favourite part of this tract is the background demonstration of how Jack Chick's version of Christianity works with regards to the shithead kid background character. Throughout the story you see him abusing animals (pulling the cats tail, shooting at a bird with a slingshot, kicking at the cat) but as soon as he accepts Jesus as his savior all is instantly forgiven, no matter what you've done in the past. In Jack Chick's flavour of Christianity that's all that matters, good deeds are not required (this same idea is further explored in Flight 144)
~~Big Daddy?~~
~~Boo!~~
~~Charlie's Ants~~
Creator or Liar?
Flight 144
Gold Fever
Heart Trouble
Hi There
Holy Night
How to Get Rich
I See You!
It's All About You!
It's The Law!
Killer Storm
Somebody Angry?
Somebody Loves Me
The Choice
The Long Trip
The Walking Dead
Who Murdered Clarice?
Up next is Creator or Liar?, a pretty dull retelling of creation so I might do a double feature with the more interesting Flight 144, I'll see what I end up doing.
This one is a Friday the 13th ripoff, but it's the devil himself that's running around having a great time killing teenagers, but also the teenagers deserve it because they're satan-worshipping delinquents and not in the church like the good boy. Also, can't forget that Halloween is literally a satanic trap so your soul will be dragged to hell for all eternity. Again, nothing too wacky/bigoted (at least compared to other Chick Tracts), though I'm suspicious of the devil's depiction as an individual with a huge hooked nose trying to mislead proper Christian folk
~~Big Daddy?~~
~~Boo!~~
Charlie's Ants
Creator or Liar?
Flight 144
Gold Fever
Heart Trouble
Hi There
Holy Night
How to Get Rich
I See You!
It's All About You!
It's The Law!
Killer Storm
Somebody Angry?
Somebody Loves Me
The Choice
The Long Trip
The Walking Dead
Who Murdered Clarice?
Up next is Charlie's Ants, where God's relationship to humanity is compared to that of a child and an ant hill
Pretty standard CT fare, set up a straw man professor and have the Chad Christian student destroy them with facts and logic, leaving the professor a shell of a man who has instantly discarded everything he knew in favour of Jack Chick's flavour of fundamentalist Christianity
My collection currently includes the following:
~~Big Daddy?~~
Boo!
Charlie's Ants
Creator or Liar?
Flight 144
Gold Fever
Heart Trouble
Hi There
Holy Night
How to Get Rich
I See You!
It's All About You!
It's The Law!
Killer Storm
Somebody Angry?
Somebody Loves Me
The Choice
The Long Trip
The Walking Dead
Who Murdered Clarice?
I'll continue with them alphabetically unless there's specific ones people want to see next, I'll probably post one a day depending on how busy I am.
Next up is Boo!, a Halloween themed tract to kick off October!
If he had a milkshake thrown at him he would explode like he took a direct hit from a 40mm grenade