Gullible

I’ve been making plantain chips for a bit, and I’m always dissatisfied with them. If my plantains are too ripe, the chips can’t crunch up. Not ripe enough and they lack the slight sweetness I love.

I decided to grab the greenest ones at the market to slowly ripen them at home, but even that’s a bit wonky, as they tend to ripen on top but not the bottom, which leaves me with something peculiar and delicious, but certainly not what I’m looking for.

So, how do you consistently get plantains in the Goldilocks zone?

Panel 1: Prince Charming in all his regalia pursues Cinderella as she crests the stairs and rounds a corner. “Don’t go” he yells after her.

Panel 2: He stops at the bottom of the staircase and mumbles to himself in defeat. “No…”

Panel 3. Prince Charming, doused in sweat, peers toward the steps and notices a single glass slipper set on its side. “Hmm” he says to himself, “this is…” he trails off.

Panel 4: the background disappears and we focus entirely upon his face. His expression exudes focus.

Panel 5: The young royal stands at attention, facing away from the steps. Upon his right foot, the glass slipper now sits. “Perfect” he finishes.

>looking for a new president 
>ask RNC booth attendant whether their candidate will start a war with Iran
>he doesn't understand 
>I pull out an illustrated diagram explaining what is and what is not war with Iran 
>he laughs and says "he’s a good candidate, sir"
>elect candidate
>war with Iran

Trying a picture to text transcription. Will fix it later, if there are any errors

I have a story that my father told me. It happened to him when I was a highscooler.
> be my father
›live in two storey house
›bedrooms are upstairs, livingroom, kitchen and computer room are downstairs
›nice neighbourhood, but had some unexplained thefts, nothing serious
›sleeping peacefully, when something wakes you up
>look at clock, it's 3 am
>suddenly, stairs creak
›wooden stairs, they creak under weight
>hear it again, just a second, like someone walks step by step or something low weight
›dogs and cats are definately outside
›at this point eyes are open and listening
›see a flash of light coming from the stairs (doors have glass parts)
>hear the creaking again, then one more flash
>finally decides to check it out, can't go back to sleep anyway
>go out of the door, try to reach for the light switch when suddenly a creak
>glance toward stairs in reflex
›see something humanoid on all fours, limbs all twisted, one "hand" grasping a step, holding something in the other
>lock eyes for a second, frozen in fear
>when the thing slightly moves, jump back into room
›run around like a madman, looking for anything that can be used as a weapon
>nothing there, picks up a fucking chair
›storms out, ready to pummel even a tank with the chair
>except there is nothing
>mom is up too at this point, check the house as quiet as possible, so the kids won't wake up
>find nothing, even with lights on
>go back to sleep 

He told me next day, asked if I heard anything. I said I didn't, and maybe he just had a nightmare, since mom didn't hear or saw anything. The truth is, I did hear and see everything. You know, I had a curfew at 10 pm, but my parents went to bed before that, so I played some game and finished at 3 am. I used my phone as a light source, only when needed, and went on all fours, because I thought distributing the weight might ease down the creaking. I thought I will die when dad looked at me, but when he went back, I bolted back to my room and pretended I was asleep.

A study on 4chan’s culture, history, and future through the lens of identity in a hostile online space. 10 years later, it proves to be just as apt but, unfortunately, far more broadly applicable.

>Be me working at gamestop
>parent asks for a game called "cod"
>tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" 
there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have
>have ton of copies in the back
>we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free
>she buys three brand new copies of this game
>she comes back after christmas
>all three copies have been opened
>no refund because you opened them 
>a kid out there received 3 copies of a fucking fishing game for Christmas

>fixing notebook for a ~70 years old lady 
>comes, pays, asks about gaming tier GPUs for her desktop 
>little took back I inquire about the price range and what 
games, solitaire, sudoku, puzzle games...
>nope, I play the Assasin
>Assassin's creed? 
>yes, on my grandsons console, I just love Venice
>she pauses
>and killing people

>be me
>biohacker focused on male vitality 
>spend years optimizing my life style diet and sleep
>Ice baths
>gigachad testosterone levels achieved
>read some estrogen is absorbed by the man during sex through vaginal fluids 
>read orgasm increases prolactin levels which makes people take on nurturing roles
>stop having sex with wife
>stop taking care of son
>testosterone goes up 21 points
>Deep sleep improves and pulse lowers
>wife won't talk to me
>son cries a lot and grades dropped 
>told son to meditate to regulate his amygdala to avoid his prefrontal cortex from shutting down 

How do you anons deal with the ever growing attacks on masculinity?

Anonymous 01/04/14(Sat) 17:46 UTC-5 No. 40237147
>Go see some horror movie years ago with a friend at midnight.
>Theater is empty except some black woman up front.
>she starts yelling.
>"NAW DONT GO IN THERE"
>"WHY YOU DO THAT"
>I yell back "TELL HER"
>"YEAH SEE THIS BOI GETS IT"
>"YEAH I GET IT"
>later, a person dies from being decapitated, the woman screams.
>"OOOOH DAYUM"
>yell back.
>"DO YOU THINK SHE'S DEAD"
>"HOW THE FUCK YOU GON LIVE WITH NO HEAD"
>"I DONT KNOW MAYBE AN AMBULANCE WILL COME"
>"THEY IN THE FUCKIN WOODS"

happened yesterday night I’m typing in my room 
i haven't gotten out yet
>be me
>20
>university student
>have a best friend 
>met last year, share a lot of subjects
>naturally spend lots of time with him
>we have a friend group but we mostly stick together
>friends joke about us being gay
>we don't feel insecure and laugh with them
>get called twinks regularly by year two 
>eventually start to do these jokes myself bc my friend is kinda cute
>summer break closing in
>his parents rich
>big house in the mountains 
>they go on a vacation when break starts, leaving him alone 
>he knows my relationship with my parents is fucked, 
invites me over for summer, like last year
>instantly accept
>having a great time, we hike, laze around, play games
>one day we get home completely beat
>decide to throw ourselves a small party
>grab some drinks
>actually get wasted on some fancy shit
>my drunk ass makes more gay jokes
>say we look like boyfriends living together
>friend laughs and says he's going to make things gayer
>he leaves to his room 
>comes back a minute later, in an oversized shirt, 
booty shorts and thigh high socks
>severely drunk at this point but it clicks
>he's been gay the entire time
>never had a girlfriend
>probably took my jokes for flirting
>he is completely drunk and self unaware
>sits on my lap
>ohgodohfuck