And now I want to write a weird novella about two extremely socially awkward straight guys who end up spending the night together because they each think the other is coming out to them as gay and are willing to do anything, even unwanted sex, as long as it means they don't offend their poor, gay, socially awkward friend, lest they be mistaken for a homophobe, and lose their only friend.
Greentext
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Jackpot
Thinking your same sex friend is pretty cute is definitely one of the most straight things ever
I’d like to think I’m self aware enough that at that point I’d be like “I guess I’m at least bi”
not sure if fake but this surely is gay
Do it. Sometimes a man just needs to blow out another mans man-cunt. Doesn’t make you any less of a man
Fucking men!? If anything that makes you more of a man.
Steve Hughes.
I've got some homophobic friends... I mean they're not mental cases, my mates. They don't hit gay men. They're not waiting in the woods with a crossbow and they're not fucking insane, right? They just don't like it, and that's their fucking deal, and they're very funny, mate. One of my mates especially... He's my age and he still can't deal with it. He's tried, but I saw him about a month ago, and he's still freaking out. "I don't like it, mate. I don't like them." I'm going, "Who?" He goes, "the puffters, mate, the gays, mate. I don't like them." I said, "Why not, mate?" He says, "I tell you why not. Cuz they're not real men... and they're not tough." "They're not tough? They fuck men. That's hardly gay." What do straight men want? *gay accent*"Ooh, I want a woman... soft... feminine..." *normal accent* "And what do you want, Dave?" "I want to fuck a bloke. I want a big strong bloke to come fuck me in the arse." Is that a bit tough for you and your pussy-loving mates, is it? Fuck you, cuz we want COCK, son. COCK! Go and play with your girly tits, you fucking gaylord.
Nothings more Alpha than fucking another bloke.
That’s sounds like a perfect relationship 😩🥺 (if we forget for a second that anon is het)
>eventually start to do these jokes myself bc my friend is kinda cute
Anon is gay
Could legitimately just be aesthetic non-sexual attraction. But this is a greentext, so…
He never states that (not that we can assume an honest narrator)
Homie wants to write gay fiction. Just suck your friends dick. Open up your life
Why can't that be me?
Oh yeah all the mental problems
Realest and gayest
Too late to do anything about it now, man. You're committed. Might as well take the "D".
No necessarily, his friend’s outfit seems pretty bottom-y to me.
More like take the W
I have seen a room full of drag queens that was less gay than this, and way more real
Ohnoooo 🥺👉👈