MacNCheezus

In God we trust. Probably because our presidents are useless.

ROMANS?

I'm pretty sure it's up to the state attorney to decide what charges to bring is all I'll say.

So... Scottish?

There, there

Local militias are perfectly acceptable as per the second amendment, as long as they're "well regulated", whatever that means...

Buddy, I'm German, I assure you I've been subjected to plenty of prejudice myself. Ever seen Die Hard? So flattering (not).

They can charge him with whatever they want I guess, in the end it's up to the jury to decide what sticks.

Yes, we know he's an American citizen, calm down please. So was Al Capone BTW, who certainly worked a lot harder to deserve a terrorism charge, but they ended up nailing him on tax evasion. So perhaps it's really the definition of terrorism that changed. I think you're taking the joke a little too serious.

As for your family members, I'm afraid I can't help you with that.

Dude's name is Luigi and his last name sounds like a pizza restaurant. That settles it for me, thank you very much.

Very relatable