(1 week without a response) Well played 🤭

There ya go. I'm glad they could "just force themselves" and I REALLY do think tying together tasks, with environment, with timing, etc... really is key, but that's the worst part of it, that intangible "something" that sparks your brain into "just doing the thing and getting it over with."

Why do we have it sometimes and not others? Where can we get it when it's missing? Do we have to panic ourselves into EVERY task?

At some point it's just really hard constantly researching how to esoterically "program yourself" when the results will be wildly inconsistent on the best of days and all the normie books on productivity are like "Have you turned off your phone and tried making a list??? 😮👉🗒️ 😱"

... And then you look up the author and they're some corporate manager who just ~~discovered the secrets to personal mastery~~ hired 2 personal assistants and now they're doing just fine. "And you can too!"

Yeah, my father was a policeman, and I'm a Jesus-follower to boot, added to the top of all these other similar patterns in this thread. I was taught to be aware at all times, to take care of people in need. To keep people out of bad situations. To give and give as long as there's anything left of me to...

I dubbed it a "hero complex". It's not about my glory or anything, just the opposite, I look out for my "squad" whomever they may be, friends or work people, whatever. I don't leave people behind and I'm a sucker for a sob story...

No, no it's not that exciting. I just happen to know a little about a lot and I hate seeing people hurting. I hate seeing things go wrong. I can't stand when things are broken and thrown away when they just need a simple fix.

Like others here, I'm cursed with a combination of intense empathy, keen observation, and the compulsive need to give guidance and share knowledge, solicited or not! Lol

But anyway, I got a job helping the public with computers. I'm pretty good at them and I'm good at explaining things. Perfect right?

That job ruined me. I got so taken advantage of, and walked over, and stalked, and used...I'm still dealing with the fallout.

I get pulled into situations all the time where people's problems become my problem, I'm running to the rescue, I'm staying late, I'm bending the rules just this once, I'm taking care of the details, I'm fixing things, I'm listening, I'm teaching.

And I end up becoming a captive savior because I'm the one who shows up. I'm the one trying to hold things together.

So many of my therapy visits were about "Setting healthy boundaries" and "You don't need to be solving everyone's problems all the time so they'll like you."

...But this world is bad enough and selfish as it is, I just want to help...

Yeah, I call this a "dope-crash".

I can tell it's happening, I'm low on brain-reward BECAUSE I'm not working on things that are meaningful or solving interesting problems or whatever.... And like timidly taking on a half-pipe, I don't have enough "juice" to make it to the other side and just settle in the middle... Well, crap, now what?

Too exhausted and sad to work on things that will make me feel less exhausted and sad > doubting self > loathing self > deep funk > hopefully wears off in a day or two...

I hate this cycle...

Freaking love yo-yos. They're so satisfying!! Now I gotta go dig out my Yomega Fireball...

I think I get you.

Like, what if we're just different, but we need "treatment" to survive in a society that runs on already inhuman paradigms that are called "normal"?

There's a lot of conflict and debate on this. Would ADHD folks still be "disabled" in a world that didn't attempt to force them to run like a misshapen gear in industrial-revolution clockwork? Maybe.

I still think it's a disability though. One we can make peace with, but it makes general survival a huge pain to deal with, and not just in modernized inhuman society.

The correct treatment can make these things much more manageable.

It can have perks. And I like my personality the way it is...but calling it a "superpower" is a huge stretch too. I really don't think it's some kind of cool "evolutionary fork" like some people want to push.

I hate lots of things about modern society and it's sociopath expectations, but also we must be careful not to fall into the trap of not helping people cope when their life falls apart when left to their own devices.

"Your home is tidy because you anticipate getting a little dopamine reward for a job well done. (How cute)

My home is tidy through determination, anger, sheer force of will, to do the thing despite every fiber of my being desperately trying to pull me away from it. Knowing that it simply must be done has to suffice as its own reward.

We are not the same."

That's why I think it can suit us quite well to be self-employed, and get paid to do enough different challenging things to keep it interesting.

Your work directly translating into money is nice.

But also, huge asterisk there, because I found out my carefully honed 3D modeling skills aren't worth "living money" unless you're crazy good, and also the official stuff like licensing and taxes are totally those "pick up your socks boring tasks" that we put off at the last minute sooo....

I dunno, I can't seem to decide whether it's worth trying to find a job I can "leave at work" that doesn't drive me crazy, or hustle to make my own venture viable. 🤔

My ADHD doctor told me:

"Medication tends to be Plan Z. We do everything we can with working with your lifestyle, your habits, your thought patterns, and then consider the lowest effective dose if we need to." I liked that approach. I didn't want medication either.

Understanding how you work differently than others expect is extremely powerful.

However, eventually after MUCH STRUGGLE... I'm taking a puny 5mg generic Adderall daily...and it makes the monkey-radio stop switching channels in my brain for a minute.

A lot of people describe it like getting glasses when they didn't think they needed them. "Wait... you're supposed to be able to see all those leaves from this far?!?! WOW!"

I guess just make sure you're seeing a psychologist first, because psychiatrists are basically all ' bout 'dem pills lol.

Call her doctor

Agh, they usually say "The patient needs to be the one to make the appointment." >:(

But, yeah OP, if you are right there with her every step of the way, she can do it, and I bet that would be very helpful, like bowling with guard rails! She can feel the empowerment of doing the work, but you're there to bump away the possibility of falling off into failure. :)

:(

That hits hard because if I wasn't adopted, that was almost my fate. Guess I wouldn't have known either way...

But I'm glad I'm here, and I'm glad you and your sister are here. We can make this place better for each other. 🫂

Me when I write a simple BASH script:

"Oh my gosh it actually WORKS!...Whelp, that should hold. On to the next thing!"

Suing who? Admins right? Because you wouldn't get much out of teachers. (In the US anyway) 😂