cosecantphi

My cashapp and venmo are both under the handle cosecantphi. DM me for paypal info.

Made this post yesterday but it looks like I didn't choose a very good time to post it, hope it's ok if I remake it.

EDIT: Goal reached! Immense thanks to the three lovely comrades who donated as well as our dedicated bumpers here on c/mutual_aid. Deeply appreciate it!

EDIT: Reposted thread the next morning and [Goal Reached!] over there: https://hexbear.net/post/3008228

Finally got out of the red for a while when the bank decides it's time to take their cut. They only took $15, but damn, do they really need that $15? I kind of doubt it. Or at least I think I needed it infinitely more than they did.

Looking for $40 dollars today, but any amount helps! My cashapp and venmo are under the same handle I use here. DM me for paypal info

She regularly uses cannabis vape pods.

I had no idea she would explode on me about this because I had already previously told her I was using cannabis, that I was paying for it, and that it greatly helped me with my social anxiety and depression. It also was greatly aiding me in my weight loss, and I'm currently the healthiest I've ever felt in my life. So yesterday I started making my edibles like it was no big deal because I thought the heart to heart I had with her about it patched things up. I legitimately thought she'd be happy for me. Well the moment she smelled it in the oven, she stormed into the kitchen, suddenly she threatened to kick me out, threatened to stop paying for all medical care I'm currently receiving, and when I didn't give in, she started begging my elderly father to intervene, nearly gave my dad a heart attack the way she reacted to me consuming this plant like it was bloody murder. I had been open about this with him for months and he doesn't have a problem with it.

I was making edibles with preground weed because it's so much cheaper to buy, I picked up a couple eighths for $10. Apparently though my mom had never heard of the concept of baking weed in the oven to decarb it, and started screaming at me like I was insane. I'm thinking she thought that maybe smelling it might mean she's also smoking it, that's my speculation on why she reacted like this, anyway. I currently don't use any other drugs on a daily basis not prescribed to me by a doctor. Though seven years ago I had a problem with opiates that I've since solved with Buprenorphine maintenance, for context. Once I realized this might be about the smell I turned off the oven and put away the foil pouch of weed, but that wasn't enough.

She gave my dad an ultimatum to kick me out or she'd be calling the cops. I refused to stop using weed, I told her I'll avoid using cannabis when she's home like I had been doing previously, but I would not be sacrificing my mental health at her arbitrary whim. My dad started having a panic attack, got in his car, and drove away. The cops arrived, explained this wasn't their responsibility, and they left. I am very glad my dogs and I are still alive. I have autism and thought this might be the end of me.

My dad returned a few hours later. It is now the next day and no one has breathed a word of this since my little brother returned from work.

I see this discussion come up a lot and it always results in arguments that I think maybe come about as a result of a lack of agreed upon definitions for certain terms, so I'll start there. Here are some definitions that make sense to me surrounding the hard problem of consciousness, would love to hear if anyone else has had the same thoughts:

Subjective experience:
Essentially the range of qualia that I can say exists because I experience them. It's the information you receive from your senses that is not quantifiable. For example, a description of the color red, no matter how detailed and scientifically accurate, will ever allow a person who has never experienced sight to understand what the color red looks like.

The mind and body:
The physical apparatus through which animals like us interact with the world. From the body we receive the necessary sensory information and nourishment to exert our will on the world. With the mind we interpret all sensory information gathered from the world.

Vast neural networks read, interpret, alter and conduct data received from the body's various sensory organs. Our brains begin this process with inherited patterns of basic cognition. Certain neural pathways calcify from repeated activity, forming memories: a catalogue of previous experiences we attribute importance to. Memories, guided by our upbringing, form a scaffold with which personality forms around, totally unique to the circumstances of any individual. But at no point in this fundamentally material process do we see the necessity for qualia, subjective experience. Theoretically, would a fully accurate computer simulated brain not also experience qualia if we know for a fact that we do?

The ongoing process described above is how most people would describe consciousness. We find that messing with certain parts of the brain can interrupt consciousness, and therefore memory formation, but how can we be sure that some fundamental sensation never ends, totally divorced from the body and mind?

People who get too drunk may not remember it later, but they were certainly conscious at the time. If there exists some feeling before conception and after death, no one can know because the dead can't speak and the living don't remember it.

God I just really need a break right now, things haven't been going my way lately, to say the least.

My venmo and cashapp are both under cosecantphi, DM for paypal info

Thanks, c/mutual aid.

EDIT: Thanks!

I really thought I had a job lined up. I was supposed to show up to sign papers and make things official last week and simply never heard back. I tried calling the stupid place and can't get anyone on the phone who knows what the hell I'm talking about, so it looks like I'm in limbo again.

Getting ghosted in your personal life is sad, but getting ghosted by supposed professionals while looking for work is both infuriating and sad.

Looking for about $30 today, but any amount is very helpful. My venmo and cashapp are both under the handle cosecantphi. DM me for paypal info.

I appreciate you, donors and bumpers of c/mutual_aid. The one place on the internet that cares about people who are struggling.

EDIT: Reached my goal for today, thanks so much to the two donors who helped out!

RIP to my old Minecraft world from 2019 on this 2.5 inch HDD I now use as a mirror for shaving

Still a couple weeks out from finally having a source of income again and I really appreciate having this place to fall back on for small things like this. I can't tell you how much it helps my anxiety that paying for food and other daily necessities is not constantly at at the forefront of my mind. Thank you for that Hexbear, any amount no matter how small is very helpful!

DM me for paypal information, my cashapp and venmo are under the same username I use here.

EDIT: Goal reached! Thank you!

(Initially posted in c/drugs but thought it would get more engagement here)

I was thinking about the way cannabis is increasingly legal in the US, and I'm starting to see it as a symptom of balkanization in this country that might start to become the model for the legalization of other drugs.

To explain: In most places in the US it is either legal or de facto legal despite the fact that until this year it was federally considered a schedule I controlled substance alongside Heroin, LSD, and many other widely known recreational drugs. For decades the federal government considered cannabis to be wholly unsuitable for all medical use and too dangerous for scientists to even research. They dedicated vast resources into destroying cannabis farms and putting cannabis users, dealers, and growers into prison. It was in a legal category more severe than fentanyl and many of its analogues.

Without even changing those laws, we got to a place where most states decided to just hand out licenses to businesses to grow and sell it, and allow anyone over the age of 21 to buy it.

I think the research chemical scene has by now made it clear that recreational drugs are not a finite group. New drugs are invented all the time. In the same way, new plants containing psychoactive compounds are either discovered or popularized all the time. They do not necessarily start their lives in the public consciousness with stigma, and they can be just as benign or deadly, euphoric or dysphoric, sedating or stimulating, psychedelic or inebriating as any classic, widely known drug.

The way the federal government categorized drugs and the way the DEA enforced drug law was never rational when you approach it from the goal of reducing the harm drugs cause socially. In actuality it was always about maintaining a legal and socially acceptable avenue for continuing this country's legacy of racism and slavery.

What this means is that which new drugs are to be banned, which are to be ignored, and which are to be accepted is an entirely local matter determined by which marginalized communities can be connected to each drug for purpose of stigmatization. With increasing social disunity across the states, we might begin to see certain drugs became wide spread and tolerated in certain states but treated with extreme hostility elsewhere. A situation like this would paralyze the ability of the DEA to gain enough cooperation from local law enforcement to curtail production and distribution, leading to decrease in stigmatization and eventually the relaxation in attitudes even in places where the stigmatization began.

For purpose of discussion, assume that due to bad luck, this asteroid has evaded the detection of all amateur and professional astronomers until about six months from impact. The asteroid is too large to deflect with humanity's current spacefaring capabilities, and the general scientific consensus is that the impact will end all multicellular life on Earth.

What do those six months look like?