Sorry for the delay. It's LuxStellae@gmail.com

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I've always wanted to visit a Unitarian church. They seem so cool. They're somewhat rare, though.

I'm very very curious about your experience with United Church of Christ. My only experience is with the run-of-the mill Church of Christ people with their odd, repressive rules, speaking in tongues, and general bigotry. I'm assuming the two differ significantly, but how exactly?

I feel ya. I hate going to any government place for documents because people can do shit like that and get away with it and there's no legal protections for trans people in my state.

Those bureaucrats weld a lot of power and can make life hell if they so choose. You probably did the wise thing and bit your tongue as long as you got what you needed to get done. You likely won't have to deal with her again for a very long time (if ever again).

On the other hand, if there are discrimination protections in your state for trans people you could file a complaint against her.

I try to be as cis passing as possible most of the time. If I don't feel like I'm passing I isolate. Still in the process of getting all of the physical effects of transitioning and it's exhausting and physically uncomfortable to conceal certain body parts but you gotta do what ya gotta do.

Got misgendered today for the first time in a while. For some damn reason I change my voice between girl or man completely subconsciously depending on the person I meet. I think it's a safeguard against potential transphobia or something because it's 100% not intentional. I fuckin hate it. Subconscious cues or some shit to protect myself in my small ass rural southern town where everybody knows my family or is related to me somehow (I'm moving in September, thank God. The person who misgendered me I'd never met but knew my family). I'm sensitive AF to that kind of stuff and want to avoid it as much as possible (of course, while consuming transphobic media so that I can prepare myself for every possible thing).

I feel such an aversion to talking about being trans to anyone irl because I'm afraid they'll potentially be transphobic or view me differently. Feels embarrassing, shameful on some level because of the culture I was raised in and the media I consumed.

I used to be a complete recluse because of dysphoria. It was lonely, but the alternative was extreme disassociation while being with other people or out in public. It really sucked.

I still get dysphoria now. Some days are worse than others. I meticulously choose what I wear when I interact with other people. I have about three "safe" outfits.

The worst time for dysphoria is when I go to the gym. Can't layer stuff or wear as much shape wear or else it's too hot and sweaty. I just don't go on bad dysphoria days.

My week was alright. Not much going on. I did notice I'm getting a lot more belly hairs. They're much darker than the rest of the hair on my whole body, which range from light blond to ginger. I wonder if the rest of my body hair will turn that dark. I quite like those little belly hairs.

That's pretty interesting. I wish there were more studies comparing antidepressants to HRT in trans people. Interesting how your voice changed in its innotation too. I notice if I get gendered correctly then my voice is much more masculine than if i get misgendered by someone.

Somehow being sweaty and stinky gives me gender euphoria. When I was an egg I'd try to shower as little as possible both to avoid dealing with my body and because I thought it would make me more masculine and somehow turn me into a normal teenage boy going through puberty (what the hell was I thinking. i was like twelve or something). I definitely take regular showers now but getting sweaty and stinky more than I used to makes me think "yay, the testosterone's working"

It's good you're able to be out and proud. Cheers to your transition!

This week wasn't the best. My mom came to visit and I fought a lot with her over her refusal to use my pronouns. Also had to quit a medication I was taking and was dealing with the shit withdrawals...sigh.

I can understand (to a degree) and have a lot more empathy for other minorities such as people of color, disabled people, etc. because of my experiences as a trans person.

"Transfeminine AMABs (people assigned male at birth) with testicles experience surges in testosterone in relation to attraction and desire, which can make them more dysphoric." -Biochemical dysphoria, The Gender Dysphoria Bible

Sexual Dysphoria

Thanks.

Yeah, I assumed the same thing when I joined, but there was only a general queer community and specific trans communities (transmasc, transfem, trans memes, etc). I hope this'll grow.