My favorite part of the judicial church is when the main mystic needs a lesser mystic (read: expert) to come in and divine a scroll, and you have to pay for that.

look, how are we supposed to tell NIMBYs that all homeless people are criminals if we don't criminalize homelessness?

I believe Patches was in the base game *Rimshot

looks like a sentient ham went to supercuts.

This is going to cause a schism, isn't it?

"And if you don't believe me, here's a picture of Karen from accounting holding a Scottish labradoodle"

audience laughs

"Put that doodle down, KAREN! That is not your doodle!"

fedora trickster? Really?

*refreshing to Mountain Dew verification cans

The First Entwives Club, staring Diane Keaton

Obviously he's trying to thank Saint Stanislaus, the patron saint of stutters

We're quickly going to learn if gizmos and doohickeys are protected by the 2nd amendment

Blaming isis really feels like the feds phoning it in.