This solution is of course not for everyone and its by no means ideal, but a third option for some is to start your own daycare.
No idea if that makes sense for you at all, just posting it here for people that really really want kids and need ideas for how to make the math work.
ive been through this process recently and sadly, what you are looking for doesnt exist at the moment. thr closest thing is Kodi and as you already know, has a lot of flaws.