The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago

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901

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U.S. Navy Announces Plan To Phase Out All Wet Activities (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

6 comments fedilink

902

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Ozempic Maker Triumphantly Announces New Drug That Makes Obese Person Disappear Entirely (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

3 comments fedilink

903

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Kids Explain How They’re Brainwashed By The ‘Woke’ Public School Agenda (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

12 comments fedilink

904

404

Blood-Covered Mark Zuckerberg Informed That Murder He Just Committed Was Not In Metaverse (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink

905

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Alberta to opt out of pharmacare, renewable energy, the wheel (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

25 comments fedilink

906

117

Hearse Driver Makes Small Talk With Corpse Riding In Back (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

2 comments fedilink

907

263

Words Besides ‘Genocide’ U.S. News Outlets Use To Describe Genocide (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

6 comments fedilink

908

242

The Top 20 Things to Fear When Your Uber Driver Is Playing "The Joe Rogan Experience" (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

8 comments fedilink

909

109

Nation Longs For Days When Poverty Mostly Meant Making Monkey Dance On Street For Cash (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

3 comments fedilink

910

670

Nintendo Honors Game Preservation Efforts by Enshrining Names of All Who Attempt It in Lawsuit (hard-drive.net)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

18 comments fedilink

911

140

Marianne Williamson Successfully Primaries Biden In All 63 Counties Of Astral Plane (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

2 comments fedilink

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U.S. Airdrops Rubble Into Gaza (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

8 comments fedilink

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We must stop the small boats so we can take care of our own first, insists man furious that taxpayer money is being used to feed hungry schoolchildren (newsthump.com)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

0 comments fedilink

The small boats migrant crisis must be stopped immediately, so we can focus on helping our own people first, according to a man who lost his mind when he found out Sadiq Khan wanted to feed hungry school children at the taxpayer’s expense.

914

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Poilievre says “female spaces” should be reserved for “biological females” and “the men who control them” (www.thebeaverton.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

16 comments fedilink

915

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Christian Man Persecuted Simply For Driving 90 Miles Per Hour In School Zone (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

12 comments fedilink

916

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Defiant Nikki Haley campaign refuses to quit, “we have tonnes of support from our voter” (chaser.com.au)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

9 comments fedilink

917

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Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by raoulraoul@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

16 comments fedilink

Worth it just for the photo!

918

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'Hundreds Relieved of Existence Following Spirited Mishap at Gaza Food Truck' Writes New York Times Editor About War Crime (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

0 comments fedilink

919

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Mitch McConnell Donates Body To Lobbyists For Research (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

12 comments fedilink

920

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Gen Z Announces Julie Andrews Is Problematic But Refuses To Explain Why (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by RobotToaster@mander.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

18 comments fedilink

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Litter-Robot Recalls Thousands Of Self-Cleaning Litter Boxes That Accidentally Transported Cats To Year 1300 (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social

5 comments fedilink

read more: https://www.theonion.com/litter-robot-recalls-thousands-of-self-cleaning-litter-1851286099

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Sasha Obama Accused Of Nepotism After Getting Elected President Of Armenia (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by tree@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink

read more: https://www.theonion.com/sasha-obama-accused-of-nepotism-after-getting-elected-p-1851282158

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Gov. Abbott Enlists Texas National Guard to Shoot at Wildfires (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 year ago by Nero@sopuli.xyz to c/theonion@midwest.social

19 comments fedilink

924

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Polish Man That Landlord Sent Over Smashes Hammer Through Wall, Leaves (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social

3 comments fedilink

925

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Conservative Think Tank Spends $40 Million Trying to Frame Girl Scout Cookies as Woke (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 year ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

30 comments fedilink