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The Onion

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Stocks Plunge As Traders Realize It’s Monday And They Have To Go To Work (www.theonion.com)

submitted 4 months ago by can@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

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[–] Blackout@kbin.run 39 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Traders don't work, they gamble all day.

[–] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Excuse you, if it doesn't come from the gambling region of France, it's called sparkling debt.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Ah, the bouquet of sparkling debt—a true delight for the discerning gambler. With bubbles of inflated valuations and a nose of speculative frenzy, it offers thrilling notes of fleeting euphoria and a bold finish that can leave you exhilarated or bankrupt. Remember, only the finest bubbles from structured finance deserve the name. Enjoy responsibly!