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Very well said. I think that might be why a lot of people (or me at least) relate to him so much, even if our fathers didn't burn our faces and exile us.
There's something very relatable about Zuko's journey, and you've put it into words perfectly. I like how you pointed out that true manliness is passion, which is what we see the true origin of firebending is. Passion and drive. Feeling your emotions with all your heart.
As a small caveat, I do think Zuko was ready to redirect the lightning at Azula, and potentially kill her, the circumstances just weren't right. However, I think after he sees her breaking down, he wouldn't ever do that. Like you said, he realizes she's broken and hurt and abused too. I think it wasn't until that moment though that Zuko really realized it.
As a side note, this description of masculinity actually reminds me a bit of Gurren Lagann too. Manliness comes up a lot, and in the end, the series makes the argument that manliness is about tenacity, passion, protection, and creation. And it isn't something that's just exclusive to men either. Early on, the protagonist becomes stuck in grief, and it's only after he accepts the sadness and emotions that he really comes into his own.
Already, very, very well spoken! Thank you for that!