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What actions? This is done most commonly toward strangers they don't know at all.
If someone were to say, for example, "I'm okay with the government picking up the slack to keep a kid from starving, but it shouldn't be treated like a solution. Instead, it should be seen as a temporary necessary measure while resources are put into solving the real problem, by preventing children from being in a position where their own parents aren't capable of feeding them to begin with, since they're the ones who should be doing it", the people I'm talking about would happily contort it into "they want kids to starve", because that requires no thought/effort, and you get to look morally superior to boot, since now that guy's just evil, because what a horrible thing it is to want children to starve!
Fact is, almost nobody is willing to even take the majority of people at their word, much less actually steelman an argument, which is how you really end up with rock solid positions and arguments, instead of having to rely on stupid rhetorical and semantic maneuvers.
Oh for… that’s not the law they passed. The law they passed banned school lunches, and they did nothing to address child hunger to make up for it. I would say they most certainly want kids to starve.
And if your take overall is ‘that person’s actions/beliefs are fine as long as they only impact people they don’t know’ that’s… not great. To quote Calvin & Hobbes, ‘we’re all ‘someone else’ to someone else’.
Reminds me of a line from the Simpsons, when Nelson, the school bully, refers to "a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark."
The OP is talking about maintaining friendships with individual people. When was the last time you actually picked an individual person's brain about where they stand on something, instead of just putting people in whatever stereotype bucket confirms your biases the best?
I have to say, in a comment chain about people uncharitably extrapolating and twisting viewpoints, this is very fitting, lol. What an absolutely ridiculous interpretation.
I've picked at coworkers brains on this frequently. They hedge, avoid, and misdirect about what they believe, or try to change the subject to something banal so as to avoid discussing their actual values.
In my experience, what Republican voters care about is personal wealth. The ones who will commit to values anyway. They feel like voting Republican makes more money for themselves and they don't care about literally anything else. The ones who hedge and act like that's what they care about usually give me the impression that they're bigots of some kind and know better than to speak their bigoted views outside of people they already know to agree with them.
While annoying, its always interesting watching Republicans run these logical theoretical loops to explain how ACTUALLY they dont WANT children to starve, they should just be allowed to (or the same for whichever issue) while arguing thats not a thing republicans do and its actually our fault for just never actually talking to one for more than two minutes.
My Dad wants to kill protestors. My high school best friend thinks healthcare should be a premium commodity. I could go on, but these aren't obscure abstractions I'm extrapolating, they're sentences these people have said out loud to me (or in text.)
If you tell me poor children shouldn't be provided lunch, I'm going to think you're an asshole because you just told me you dont think poor children should be provided lunch. Jerk off about the free market and all these high concept solutions (that any other time most people would LOUDLY bemoan because it would require way more organized action than providing school lunch) all you want, children are still starving because you won't just let us feed them.