this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
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Can you educate me on the R word, please? (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by Mantikora@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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R as ret ar ded.

I'm from Balkans and I think there's no swearing anywhere in the world like in Balkans. We use slurs A LOT and pretty casually, so I am always surprised when I am censored on some word online.

It happened just now. The R word was removed from my comment, so I wanted to find out what's going on with it.

Since I talk to people from all around the world, I don't want to be an ignorant fool and I want to learn why it isn't ok to say something, so I can implement it without the feeling I'm being deprived of free speech.

Again, take in consideration the Balkan thing if you think I'm trolling with this post. I'm not. I swear to you, the shit we're able to say are insane and we really think it's no big deal.

So, when did R word became a slur and why it's not ok to call someone R word as an insult?

Thank you for the education. A human learns while grows and until dies.

EDIT: You're really nice community and I am really thankful you've explained this to me. As I said, I can be a Slow Poke sometimes and growing where I grew, some shit has just stuck as normal and I am glad to unlearn it. My heart is leftist, but I grew up as a Catholic in the midst of the war where we learned a lot of hateful stuff as a normal part of identity. I want to fuck it off from me, so thanks, really.

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[โ€“] Mantikora@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But what I challenge you to do is not go around thinking "I can't use that word because I'm not supposed to" but instead think "I want to show solidarity with those people who want to make a name for themselves by not putting them down."

Well, that's the reason why I asked. I mean, when we learn why something is bad, when we learn the other perspective, then we try not to do/say it anymore because when something gains weight and you continue to do/say it anyways, then you're a prick. If I don't have understanding behind a rule, I can only imply it because I was told not to and I personally don't like that. I like to learn and be mindful of why I can't do or say something. In the end, if we don't do or say something because it's forbidden, it doesn't accomplish anything. Knowing why it's forbidden is how we eliminate those bad patterns of expressing and evolve as better people. At least I believe that.

[โ€“] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

Not saying it's the case for this conversation, plenty of people willing to explain and teach, but sometimes someone will ask you to not use a term, and refuse to explain because it is emotionally exhausting to explain and relive your trauma to people who don't understand why hearing people say something hurts you.

If you ever find yourself in this situation, try to exercise some empathy and just don't use the word, instead of insisting on understanding why you can't use it.

I say this because I've seen it happen in front of me irl and it's pretty shit. Also online it can be interpreted as sealioning, which yknow, not great.