this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 107 points 2 months ago (7 children)

My current boss is by far the best one I've ever had.

It's me.

I've also got a great employee. That's me as well.

[–] BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world 49 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but the sexual harassment never stops!

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Goes to HR:

"My boss grabbed my dick and shook the piss out of it in the bathroom! Then he made me go into a stall and wiped my ass to check if that risky fart he had noticed earlier was indeed just a fart!"

"No shit?"

"None!"

Then he sits down and makes himself an award certificate for best personal hygiene and another for most caring boss and wonders if talking to himself really means he's crazy.

[–] DeanFogg@lemm.ee 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

HR: "You know what? Promotion!"

"For me or the boss?"

HR: "does it matter?"

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't know. My office moves on 4 wheels and is full of tools. She's the one pulling the pranks on me and they're never good - just expensive.

[–] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago

FunkFPV, is that you?

Kidding. Sounds like you're still mostly winning though, good on ya.

[–] portuga@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

I also choose this guy’s boss

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago

I've heard from friends who are self employed that this is a double edged sword. When you have an employer and take vacation, it feels like you've earned it and are taking time off at the expense of your employer. But when you're self employed it feels like you're just not getting paid.

One of my friends didn't take any time off for something like 5 years before realizing how incredibly bad that was for him.

[–] ianhclark510@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago

Are these people related? I smell nepotism

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I'm currently at my best job, and it's because I have a union who can tell the boss to fuck himself for me.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Same. Technically I report to someone at the company I contract with but mostly that's just to let them know when I'll be in and when I won't.