this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
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Microblog Memes

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[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 107 points 10 months ago (7 children)

My current boss is by far the best one I've ever had.

It's me.

I've also got a great employee. That's me as well.

[–] BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world 49 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but the sexual harassment never stops!

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Goes to HR:

"My boss grabbed my dick and shook the piss out of it in the bathroom! Then he made me go into a stall and wiped my ass to check if that risky fart he had noticed earlier was indeed just a fart!"

"No shit?"

"None!"

Then he sits down and makes himself an award certificate for best personal hygiene and another for most caring boss and wonders if talking to himself really means he's crazy.

[–] DeanFogg@lemm.ee 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

HR: "You know what? Promotion!"

"For me or the boss?"

HR: "does it matter?"

[–] Entropywins@lemmy.world 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't know. My office moves on 4 wheels and is full of tools. She's the one pulling the pranks on me and they're never good - just expensive.

[–] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 10 months ago

FunkFPV, is that you?

Kidding. Sounds like you're still mostly winning though, good on ya.

[–] portuga@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago

I also choose this guy’s boss

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 12 points 10 months ago

I've heard from friends who are self employed that this is a double edged sword. When you have an employer and take vacation, it feels like you've earned it and are taking time off at the expense of your employer. But when you're self employed it feels like you're just not getting paid.

One of my friends didn't take any time off for something like 5 years before realizing how incredibly bad that was for him.

[–] ianhclark510@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 10 months ago

Are these people related? I smell nepotism

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago

I'm currently at my best job, and it's because I have a union who can tell the boss to fuck himself for me.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago

Same. Technically I report to someone at the company I contract with but mostly that's just to let them know when I'll be in and when I won't.