askchapo

I've watched a lot of "bad" movies I enjoyed because it's fun to crack jokes and stuff. MST3K taught me how to enjoy a good riff session. Sometimes I just finish a movie I don't care for because there's some creative world building or neat effects or camera work. Something to hold onto while finishing the ride, you know?

The one movie I fully watched that I just couldn't stand was A History of Violence. I hated that fucking movie. Watched it in theaters. Absolutely loathed it. I hated the pacing. The sub plots like the kid beating up a bully were awkward. The sex scene was awful and made me feel like i was watching an unnecessarily long sex scene with my parents when I was a teenager. The score was by Howard Shore right after Lord of the Rings and it had notes of The Shire woven through it i couldn't unhear. I think William Hurt is a bad actor who. Always. Talks. Like this. When. Being dramatic. With flat. Vocal. Inflection. Went there with buddies so I had to stay because we carpooled.

There are like 60 seconds of that movie I enjoyed:

1. when Aragorn smashes a coffee pot into a guys face and shoots him in the mouth and it cuts to his ruined face. Shocking depiction of brutality. Nicely done, Cronenberg.

2. when Aragorn fucks up one of William Hurt's goons and escapes and the goon is lying on the ground and for 2.5 seconds William Hurt actually uses acting to deliver the line "how do you fuck that up?" with frustrated incredulity and shoots his own goon. I laughed out loud at the sudden absurdity. I identified with that tiny slice of cinema. I saw myself shooting that fuckup failure of a film for wasting my time and money.

I generally like Cronenberg and love Eastern Promises. So I don't get it. But I fucking hate A History of Violence.

I did recently try to rewatch The Mask and got like 10 minutes in before turning it off. Bury that one in a lead lined casket along with Adam Sandler's comedy albums and other shit I thought was funny when I was 12.