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Ben Shapiro Calls for Boycott of Zoltar Machine That Wouldn’t Make Him Big (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social

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BOCA RATON, Fla. — Conservative podcaster Ben Shapiro called for a boycott of Zoltar machines after his wish to become “big” went unfulfilled for the 4,000th day straight, confirmed sources who learned about this news against their will.

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[–] just_another_person@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Why does this fucker always look like he's dropping a deuce and about to cry about it?

[–] ZeroCool@slrpnk.net 13 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Oh that’s just his signature resting ‘whiny little bitch’ face.

[–] BruceTwarzen@lemm.ee 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

For the longest time i have never even heard him talk. All i heard was people imitating him. And i have to say, they are all 100% spot on

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Let's say your wife's p-word is dry. Let's say, hypothetically, it's like the Sahara. My wife, who is a doctor, has informed me this is natural for a p-word. Of we accept the professional opinion of my wife, who is a doctor, you will obviously come to the conclusion that a wet p-word is symptomatic of a venereal disease. Facts don't care about your feelings.