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Getting back into dating and I fell for a married woman wtf (hexbear.net)

submitted 1 month ago by Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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Couple months ago I met a woman who works at a dispensary I visit about once a week. We hit it off really well. Despite trying to just keep it casual sex, and that only, I ended up developing some feelings for her. She confessed the same to me. I even introduced her to my teenaged daughter, for fucks sake.

I ran into her this evening at a gas station, with another guy, who turns out to be her husband. They’ve been married five years, and have two children together, ages 4 and 2. Finding out they have kids just made me feel disgusting.

So, I told him. He didnt believe me until I described a tattoo in a somewhat intimate place on her body. I had no fucking clue she was married. I think I ruined someone’s marriage. Or at least took part in ruining one.

I feel guilty. I am sorry for what I participated in. Am I a bad person?

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[–] jack@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

And personally- coming from a seriously fucked up family upbringing myself- not all marriages, "even with kids" (sometimes especially with kids) should exist, some are a curse on everyone involved. I'd have thought most people nowadays can understand that on some level, in such spaces in particular.

In my family's fucked up marriages, cheating is almost always the violation that sends the whole thing spinning - no abuse needed. My parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle, in-law grandparents were all destroyed by one side choosing to cheat.

[–] SadArtemis@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago

Neither of my parents cheated, as far as I know (and if they had, good chances are I'd have known). They just tortured each other (and the kids) for a decade, while spiraling deeper into certain Catholic mindsets/circles and quiverfull-adjacent nonsense. And then they tortured each other for the better part of yet another decade (taking several years to properly divorce despite being separated, having a long, drawn-out divorce which only further ruined their already long-since ruined lives).

Not invalidating your own experiences here, but it's a big world out there, and there's probably just as many out there with experiences like mine as with yours. As a kid my parents' separation (nasty and destructive as it was) was still a relief, and when it was finalized with a divorce it was all the better. Some things (or many) are simply cursed from the onset.