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I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 2 months ago by geekwithsoul@lemm.ee to c/theonion@midwest.social

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I’m torn. Both Galadriel and Sauron say the other is a threat to Middle-earth. One has to be wrong, so whom am I to trust? Should I trust the Dark Lord who attempted to topple the White City of Gondor, dominate all life, and attempt to stay in power for eternity? Or do I trust the Elf Queen representing the coalition of Men and Elves who defeated Sauron when he tried to enslave the Free Peoples… but could maybe do more meet-and-greets?

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[–] geekwithsoul@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Do you need a hug? It sounds like you need a hug.

And jokes on you, I was conceived in the backseat of a car. Don't you feel foolish now?

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago

Do you need a hug? It sounds like you need a hug.

Once again, Everyone That Disagrees With You Must Have Emotional Problems/Trauma And That Makes Them Wrong And Unworthy, a bedtime story for scratched liberals.

[–] frauddogg@hexbear.net 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Die screaming, thanks. I don't even have anything pithy for this, I just pray for the absolute worst for you, and everybody like you.

[–] geekwithsoul@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

Okay. See ya!