this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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lets add full seconds of latency to malloc with a non-determinate result this is a great amazing awesome idea it's not like we measure the processing speeds of computers in gigahertz or anything
sorry every element of this application is going to have to query a third party server that might literally just undershoot it and now we have an overflow issue oops oops oops woops oh no oh fuck
want to run an application? better have internet fucko, the idea guys have to burn down the amazon rainforest to puzzle out the answer to the question of the meaning of life, the universe, and everything: how many bits does a 32-bit integer need to have
new memory leak just dropped–the geepeetee says the persistent element 'close button' needs a terabyte of RAM to render, the linear algebra homunculus said so, so we're crashing your computer, you fucking nerd
the way I kinda know this is the product of C-Suite and not a low-level software engineer is that the syntax is mallocPlusAI and not aimalloc or gptmalloc or llmalloc.
and it's malloc, why are we doing this for things we're ultimately just putting on the heap? overshoot a little–if you don't know already, it's not going to be perfect no matter what. if you're going to be this annoying about memory (which is not a bad thing) learn rust dipshit. they made a whole language about it
holy fuck that's so good
wait is this just the e = mc^2^ + AI bit repackaged
I think this is the first solo
I've seen and it's beautiful
if they're proposing it as a C stdlib-adjacent method (given they're saying it should be an alternative to malloc [memory allocate]) it absolutely should be lowercase. plus is redundant because you just append the extra functionality to the name by concatenating it to the original name. mallocai [memory allocate ai] feels wrong, so ai should be first.
if this method idea wasn't an abomination in and of itself that's how it would probably be named. it currently looks straight out of Java. and at that point why are we abbreviating malloc. why not go the distance and say largeLanguageModelQueryingMemoryAllocator
I might call it like, malloc_ai so it's like, I INVOKE MALACHI lol
snake_case is valid, I’m just operating on the assumption that these rubes want it to be stdlib-adjacent
Well come to think of it, we did find out that certain snakes are standard lib-adjacent in disguise