Can't wait to see when happens when a program calls this function every clock cycle lmao
this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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This right here is giving me flashbacks of working with the dumbest people in existence in college because I thought I was too dumb for CS and defected to Comp Info Systems.
One of the things I've noticed is that there are people who earnestly take up CS as something they're interested in, but every time tech booms there's a sudden influx of people who would be B- marketing/business majors coming into computer science. Some of them even do ok, but holy shit do they say the most "I am trying to sell something and will make stuff up" things.
When do we get HexbearPlusAI?
BeanisBot
Can we make a simulation of a CPU by replacing each transistor with an LLM instance?
Sure it'll take the entire world's energy output but it'll be bazinga af
why do addition when you can simply do 400 billion multiply accumulates
Chatgeepeetee please solve the halting problem for me.
mallocPlusAI
That made me think of... molochPlusAI("Load human sacrifice baby for tokens")
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as molochPlusAI, is in fact, GNU/molochPlusAI, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNUplusMolochPlusAI.
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Uncritical support for these AI bros refusing to learn CS and thereby making the CS nerds that actually know stuff more employable.
Wait, is this not a joke?
But to recognize people who know something you too need to know something, but techbros are very often bazingabrained AI-worshippers.
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lets add full seconds of latency to malloc with a non-determinate result this is a great amazing awesome idea it's not like we measure the processing speeds of computers in gigahertz or anything
sorry every element of this application is going to have to query a third party server that might literally just undershoot it and now we have an overflow issue oops oops oops woops oh no oh fuck
want to run an application? better have internet fucko, the idea guys have to burn down the amazon rainforest to puzzle out the answer to the question of the meaning of life, the universe, and everything: how many bits does a 32-bit integer need to have
new memory leak just dropped–the geepeetee says the persistent element 'close button' needs a terabyte of RAM to render, the linear algebra homunculus said so, so we're crashing your computer, you fucking nerd
the way I kinda know this is the product of C-Suite and not a low-level software engineer is that the syntax is mallocPlusAI and not aimalloc or gptmalloc or llmalloc.
and it's malloc, why are we doing this for things we're ultimately just putting on the heap? overshoot a little–if you don't know already, it's not going to be perfect no matter what. if you're going to be this annoying about memory (which is not a bad thing) learn rust dipshit. they made a whole language about it
wait is this just the e = mc^2^ + AI bit repackaged
if you're going to be this annoying about memory (which is not a bad thing) learn rust dipshit. they made a whole language about it
holy fuck that's so good 
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modern CS is taking a perfectly functional algorithm and making it a million times slower for no reason
Given a small allocation can take only a few hundred cycles, and this would take at minimum a few seconds, it's probably between a billion and a trillion times slower.
inventing more and more creative ways to burn excess cpu cycles for the demiurge
"INTEGER SIZE DEPENDS ON ARCHITECTURE!"
idk why boomers decided to call integers int/short/word/double word/long/long long
you ever heard of numbers? you think maybe a number might be a little more descriptive than playing "guess how wide i am?"
yet another thing boomers ruined
Found javascript's burner account.
Word size was architecture dependent
That will also be deduced by AI
This is simply revolutionary. I think once OpenAI adopts this in their own codebase and all queries to ChatGPT cause millions of recursive queries to ChatGPT, we will finally reach the singularity.
There was a paper about improving llm arithmetic a while back (spoiler: its accuracy outside of the training set is... less than 100%) and I was giggling at the thought of AI getting worse for the unexpected reason that it uses an llm for matrix multiplication.
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Society is 12 hours of internet outage away from chaos.
Coming soon to Netflix?
Chaos Day (2025)
Tagline: 12 hours without the net
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My guy, if you don't want to learn malloc just learn Rust instead of making every basic function of 99% of electronics take literal seconds.
this is definitely better than having to learn the number of bytes your implementation uses to store an integer and doing some multiplication by five.
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there it is, the dumbest thing i'll see today, probably.
Wait this makes sense
AI is always 0
oh this is just gold
Please be a bit, please be a bit
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Every time the program compiles, malloc() allocates a different amount of memory. A third of these crash the system because ChatGPT pulled a joke post claiming that a single integer takes up 128GB.
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