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I was too and did the same, but I was taught to break away from the mold and usual thinking as a young adult pretty early on (thank you parents and to some of my teachers). I'm sorry to hear that those people in your life lied to you and never thought to help you break out of that mold.
The states is so vast that what you're saying doesn't always apply to another person. It's funny because you mention being born in Seattle and growing up in LA. Well I was born in Georgia and most people would have you believe living in the south is shit (which to be fair, some places are), but I can say my life experience has been completely different than yours.
As I mentioned before the states has its problems for sure but it's not all bad and your experience can vastly differ from another.