this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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askchapo
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Not sure any advice on a website is going to do you much good. Clearly you're struggling with something but the way you've described your perspective it seems like you regard yourself as better than others.
What drove you to the left other than compassion for your fellow human? Surely you know some people who don't even know what 4chan is or at least didn't know it was still around. If you hate everyone what's the point of fighting to make their lives better?
So people here say this a lot, but I think there's a bunch of different things that draw people to the left besides empathy.
For one I would point out, most of us, myself included, are massive smarty pants nerds who like digging up random historical sources to own Libs and CHUDs. I think the self satisfaction of being right about fucking everything is a big draw. I think this was the case for a lot of historical communists too, Marx and Lenin def smart boys who liked being right about everything.
I think there's also the belief that this is the right direction for human history to progress. I may not care a ton for a lot of humans alive right now, but what does my personal distaste matter? History marches on and I want to be on the right side of it.
This is incredibly sad to me.
If the reason you’re a leftist is that you want to win internet arguments, you will never actually organise or contribute to the cause. Then what is the point other than feeding your dopamine addiction?
Be useful.
1: I would point out you don't know anything about me and what I do in my actual life
2: You can still organize while finding people frustrating and annoying, if anything it makes it more commendable when you do. Example: Lenin.
yeah i mean the rank ableism of society was preventing that anyway, the same way it robbed me of my opportunity to be socialized properly and makes it impossible to do anything that requires another person
Well it sure as hell wasn't profit.
It was profit, but not mine.
The Silver Rule ("do not do unto others what you do not want done unto you") can get you most of the way there without compassion taking the wheel. In the wrong circumstances it can backfire, of course.
l'm sure there are people who aren't entirely compassionate but have found out that it's the correct system by all the obvious flaws in capitalism.
If I'm honest? My utter hatred and bone-deep contempt for white Amerika. The only compassion or empathy I still nurture is for those the Settler empire oppresses; and even that has become contingent on whether they stand against the Settler, or have cooned out and placed themselves back under His thumb. I hate living in this country, I hate being both literally and metaphorically surrounded by the tacit, oppressive philosophy and habitus of Whiteness, I hate having to pretend I don't just to be able to clear next month's rent in a shitty apartment I got redlined into, I hate being condescended to like I just have to accept that shit isn't going to change in this country in my lifetime.
If I don't make it out, if I don't find somewhere to go where I'm not getting profiled by some cracker because I didn't hide the texture of my hair from them, I'm going to live under the yoke of crackers, likely for the rest of my life. My nephews and nieces, since ain't no way I'm giving this slave state more grist for its crushing wheels, they will likely live under that yoke too. And I fucking hate it.
When I say "I'm only out here for my folk" I honest-to-God mean it.
Resentment/fear of the right and the heteronormative social structure they (and to some extent all people) uphold, mostly. They’ve treated me like shit my whole life for multiple reasons, and will continue to do so no matter what I do.
I’ll be honest, I don’t want to not hate straight people and neurotypicals, but I probably need to.
It’s not that I’m better than them, it’s that I’m incompatible with their structures.
There are people I like, and I used to like most of them more, but after nearly 20 years of putting up with the right’s much stronger, much more persistent shit I’ve just been worn down in general. The positive matters less to the point of slipping beneath my notice, the negative matters even more and grows to dominate my life.