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I just found out that the student loans I've been saddled with for the past 19 years were completely avoidable because my parents are wealthier than they ever let on (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by throwaway94715@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I moved back in with my parents at 35 a couple years ago after personal financial ruin.

CW: Suicide

I was so depressed at the time that I told them they should let me die because I didn't want to be a financial burden on them.

That's how seriously money was weighing on my mind at the time.

All I knew about my parents finances before yesterday was that they had multiple high-interest credit cards nearly maxed out. I knew this because my mom has shared the account login credentials with me.

All I could think about was getting a job ASAP to help the family stay of the streets, but I was too depressed to function.

Yesterday after a long conversation, my mom shows me her Merrill Lynch account on her iPad. It has a balance of over $128k. All stocks.

My mom has been squirreling every dollar she can into it for the past thirty years.

I clicked "max" on the balance history. The balance used to be over $600k but she makes a lot of trades.

I'm going through a lot of emotions rn.

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[–] DickFuckarelli@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Out and out: that sucks. I'm really sorry. You deserve better.

I have a couple thoughts, some of which are probably conflicting but I'm also just reading this from the sidelines.

To some degree I empathize with your parents: they were born into this death cult and they probably believe in it. It's fucked up but most of us (I assume) come from Western-loving households who think hard work, grit, and eating stew makes you a better person.
I struggled hard in my 20s and my divorced parents were unable to help me. I ended up doing a bunch of shit that I absolutely hated (which later led me to despise myself), including joining gangs and engaging in street violence, and then eventually joining the military (thank god I never saw combat), and then bouncing around doing the most inane shit to make ends meet. Had there been some nest egg either of my parents were sitting on, I would be beyond pissed.
However... My dad eventually moved in with me for his latter years leading up to his death. Something I never planned on since I really didn't care for him, and quite frankly I didn't care if he lived or died (until I was actually faced with that decision). His moving in is probably the singular event that pushed me from SocDem-status to "bring on the revolution." So thinking about that, if there was ever a time in my life I would have fallen to my knees and accepted Jesus into my soul, it would have been to find out there was some sort of nest egg his broke-dick ass was sitting on that could have helped me, and him, in our darkest hour.

I know that's probably not very helpful in your current circumstances. My best advice is to do your best to have a good circle of friends who share in your frustration and struggle, and who genuinely care about you. Your mom is probably doing what's best given the environment she comes from.