this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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Cishet dudes of Hexbear: Do feel that certain gender or sexuality norms are harmful to you personally? If so, what are they and how would you say they affect you? (hexbear.net)
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by Carcharodonna@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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So, back when I was "still cis tho", there were a lot of aspects of male gender norms that bothered me deeply and of course I totally understand why now. Even though these days I obviously have a clear reason for feeling that way, I'm still curious if cishet men also have issues with how norms or expectations around gender and sexuality impact them in a negative way.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how those norms impact you, whether good or bad.

Also, I should mention that since this is a bit of a sensitive subject we're talking about here, please be thoughtful and sensitive when discussing with others in this thread. Thanks! <3

EDIT: Much thanks for all the great responses here! I know it's a difficult topic of course, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings like this.

Speaking of which... I just looked at /c/menby and some of the posts on the front page there are over 2 years old. I see a lot of the discussion here centered around not being able to share feelings and/or not having the spaces or support to do that in. /c/menby seems like the perfect place for that, just sayin'.

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[–] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Should I be reserved because it was nothing compared to someone that walked the Long March? Or someone who immigrated to a different continent to seek a better life? Or the Platonic ideal of a masculine man? I replied "I will be fine"

Thank you for sharing your experience comrade. It's interesting to hear how patriarchal ideals are similar and different across cultures. Clearly the political project that was the Long March is very different than say the settlement of the western US, but also clearly those experiences are transmuted into some similar social pressures.

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Long March was less a political project than a matter of survival. The Nationalist government purged both the left wing parts of their government and the Communist Party. Reactionaries killed off communists, socialists and the left wing of the KMT. After begging for leftists for help.

The liberals begged for help to oppose the imperialists then turned around and removed the leftist party and left leaning individuals in the KMT. When they asked again during the second war the communists were rightfully against the notion.

[–] carpoftruth@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

Fair, I was using the Long March as a stand-in for the greater project of the a Chinese communist revolution. The political project that was the settlement of the North American West generated a lot of enduring American/Canadian stereotypes of manliness (cowboys, prospectors, outdoorsmen, hunters, homeateaders, explorers that lived off the land).

From your post it sounds like the Chinese revolution also left enduring stereotypes of manliness.