this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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Relatable. This sounds like autism to me. My limited early memories (not the first) are this way too. Felt like an outsider my entire life, still do.
Yeah i got the tism found out in my late 20s but would have been useful to know earlier cos I spent my entire childhood feeling like an alien and beating myself up about it
I never got diagnosed, my best friend since I was 1 who worked with autistic people diagnosed me in my mid 20s and I was very offended. Then a whole bunch of life crisis stuff happened in my mid 30s and I looked into it for real this time, took a bunch of online tests out of curiosity and there it was, autistic. It explains so much of what’s “wrong” with me and why I can’t just be like everyone else.
I’m female so a lot of shit just gets swept under the rug especially growing up in the 90s where females can’t have neurodivergence it’s a disruptive rich white boy problem (in america).
Given the timeline america is on I don’t want an official diagnosis, it won’t give me anything but more trouble. And I’d have to pay handsomely for the pleasure of opening myself up to discrimination and worse.