this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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[โ€“] butyl@sh.itjust.works 0 points 6 days ago (1 children)

2 and 3 are violent crimes, and horrid. 1 tho? Really? How about if it's (hypothetically) cheating on 1 person, whom has cheated multiple times, and lied reptitively about it, to keep doing so? And what if, again very hypotheically, the person who retaliated by cheating did so with say... more than one person, at the same time?

Edgecases are are to be considered with these things, even when definitely not real life, personal experience. ๐Ÿ˜ถ

[โ€“] dingus@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

There is always nuance in everything. Didn't mean to imply that there wasn't. Actually, my mom was a cheater. But she cheated on her abusive husband that she was afraid to leave. So I didn't consider it to be immoral. In fact, I was amused when I found out.

In a majority of cheating cases, that's not how it all plays out. So a majority of times cheating is incredibly immoral and hurtful to the other person. Occasionally it isn't, but that isn't the majority of cases.

[โ€“] butyl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I definitely agree, dingus. Most cases tend to be kind of sad, and pretty self-centered. Escaping an abusive relationship almost always complicated, and I'm glad for anyone who gets out of them.

Also, I know someone with a cheating proclivity... The dude is loyal and committed, but enjoys the experience, which is unfortunate for all parties involved, really. At least he knows how to avoid the allure, and is happily with someone he loves.

Stonger than I am, because if a person told me to give up almost anything I find enjoyable, I'd tell them to find someone else, no matter the type of relationship. Hedonism is only a treadmill when the payoff decreases, which means one is probably bad at hedonic pursuit.

[โ€“] dingus@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Your last paragraph reads rather odd to me. Poly relationships exist but involve mutual consent. That's the reason why cheating in many cases is not at all ok. Because the other party doesn't consent to it and it's done in secrecy and deep violation of the person's trust. It's ok to have multiple partners or have sex with other people. You can too if you want to! But everyone involved has to agree with that kind of a setup for a relationship. Hiding it and hurting the other person is almost always immoral and wrong, even if it "feels good" to you. There are ways that all parties can consent to make your "feeling good" not hurting or taking advantage of others.

[โ€“] butyl@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago

That's fair. I guess the risk factor would be what does it for most people who enjoy that, which isn't great. Poly would not be the same I assume, kind of like a TENS unit vs something closer to the "risk of complications" zone, but with trust, instead of current... And I guess the risk of betrayal and ended relationships, in place of being injured or worse.

Sorry for the semi-morbid and sussy analogy.

Taking advantage is always a non-option personally, but but hurting others or vise versa is pretty much always fine tbh, as long as consent has been given... It's quite a conundrum! The worst best/worst part is that the hurting can be non-physical as well. I sometimes wonder what having a less cooked mind is like, but it's not easy to imagine.