this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] teft@lemmy.world 156 points 2 months ago (5 children)

The dude gets weekly dick injections which he classifies as 9.5 out of 10 on a pain scale.

Weekly.

Dude is a fucking moron.

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 80 points 2 months ago (4 children)

9.5 out of 10. In his dick.

Has anyone asked him why he wants to live forever if that's what it takes?

[–] DharkStare@lemmy.world 70 points 2 months ago (2 children)

"You get to live forever but in exchange you have to get incredibly painful injections in your dick on a daily basis."

Sounds like a cursed genie wish.

[–] Zahille7@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Absofuckinglutely not

[–] franklin@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What's the quality of my life? Like 20s forever or do I still age?

[–] teft@lemmy.world 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Right? Miss me with that dick pain immortality.

[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

You sure, bro? You missing out.

grabs dick as another firey torrent surges through his body

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

Probably because he knows he can't take his wealth with him in death.

What's the point of being pointlessly wealthy if you can't be pointlessly wealthy forever?

[–] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My guess is he wants to live forever because he feels he has made no contribution to the world, or does not feel a sense of fulfillment and purpose from raising his family. Maybe he feels cracking the secret could be his contribution, or maybe he thinks he can find meaning in his life, given enough time.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bFnZsvh6pw posits that it's because he was raised believing in eternal life through the church, and lost his faith but still wants eternal life.

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Props for linking to that video; it's so good.

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 2 points 2 months ago

I saw that video on Nebula and it was the first I'd heard of this dude, but I still found the video fascinating.

[–] kazerniel@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

thanks for recommending this channel, seems right up my alley!

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 1 points 2 months ago

Get it early on Nebula! https://nebula.tv/lilyalexandre

If you haven't tried Nebula, PM me, and I think I still have a guest pass for a free week.

[–] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 months ago

It sounds like the dude just has a CBT fetish and doesn't want to admit it.

[–] probably2high@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

It's like those showerthought ultimatums : You can choose to gain eternal life, but every day your dick is the subject of the worst pain you've ever felt.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I'm going to laugh when he dies of self inflicted dick infection.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I truly hope that these people start getting massive organ failure and shit because of all of this experimental garbage they put into their bodies.