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How do you make friends? (lemmygrad.ml)

submitted 1 month ago by borschtisgarbo@lemmygrad.ml to c/chat@hexbear.net

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Could barely talk a year ago. I was very depressed and lonely. Have went to stay at psychiatric clinics a couple of times. Only just recently got out again, but this time it was shorter than usua, only a couple of days. I've made some progress and now i can actually form a coherent sentence. Still incredibly afraid to talk to people. Still, after all this time I really don't know the basics of social interaction How do you initiate a conversation with someone? How do you make friends?

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[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I quite literally talk at people until I'm a mainstay in their life and they forget there ever was a life without me in it. I dnow where i get the energy but basically it boils down to find someone with similar interests through small talk then ramp up the blah blah, invite for lunch, blah some more, invite for dinner, blah some more, exchange numbers, test the water with a few small memes, blah some more. Then i find more people and then i make them all blah at each other, then we play counter strike as a team bonding exercise then blah some more

Helps to be in an environment where you see the person often either work or volunteering or hobby groups. Making friends online is a bit harder cos there's no reason to see the person again so it might just go dark one day. Also shared memories in a common environment go a long way i still riff on the same tired old events with my school friends to this day.

Might help to find some people to practice talking with online maybe. Engage in megathreads here or a person to dm about common interests may go a long way to build up confidence. Confidence begets more confidence until you get a big head like me.

Its also possible that everyone thinks I'm obnoxious and hates me but what I don't know can't hurt me