politics

It's easy. If there's too much pushback, he's "just joking." Then he'll do it anyway. He "doesn't want to," but he "has to for national security." Then he'll talk about how "foreign governments don't want me to be president because I'm too good, America has never been greater, China wants me out. They've put viruses in the those vote counting things. You can't trust an election. The whole system needs to be fixed. It's war. It's too dangerous to have an election in war time. Our enemies are paying people to vote illegally. They look like us now. They're smart. They're really evil, but they're smart these Chinese. They look like us and sound like us. They have Canadians coming down here and stuffing ballots and they look like us. Those Canadians really sneaky, they look like us. It's true. They look like us. And their country is so terrible, it's sad, Canada, they have no money. They totally relied on us and I shut it all down. They were stealing from us with their tariffs. Do you remember that? They were stealing from us, and I shut them down, and now they're broke. It's so sad. So sad. But now they take money from China and stuff our ballots. And China gets in there with their computers and their viruses, they're really smart those Chinese. Ching chong ping pong and they're inside the computer. I don't know how they do it but they do it. It's true, they just go right inside our counting things, because our guys are so dumb. They really are. It's all immigrants in our universities and they can't keep up with these Chinese. But they wouldn't listen to me. I kept saying, 'we have to stop with all these immigrant students.' But did they stop? No, because they didn't believe me. They didn't believe me! And now we have all these immigrant students, and they're so dumb. It's sad how dumb they are. And our guys can't keep up because there's so many of them. They send them over in waves. It's like an invasion. Wave after wave of these immigrants, they say they're students, but it's an invasion. That's what it is, an invasion. Because we're at war, and we can't have an election when we're at war because it's not safe. So I'll stay president, because I'm the best. It'll be great. I'm great. I really am. Look how I shut down Canada. They'll be begging us to take them over any day now. They're already saying it, Canadians. They hate their government. So weak. Their Governor doesn't know what he's doing. He's so bad. So we'll rescue the Canadians. That's what I'll do, I'll rescue the Canadians. We'll get them one way or another. Because they're attacking us. They're sneaky you know. Those Canadians. They look like us and they're stuffing our ballots. They do it all the time. So we can't have an election. I want to have an election. I really do. I want to. But we can't. We just can't. We're at war. We can't do it."

Sorry 'boot that, eh.