I want to have one, but too afraid of the intrusive thoughts of shooting myself (as in: self-harm).

I've never touched a real gun, but they do look like a useful tool against home invaders and nazi mobs.

Against a tyrannical government tho? Yea we need a militia for that, individuals can't do much against a well trained army sworn to a dictator. Even then, you'd need a lot of guerrilla tactics. I'm not sure I can handle the responsibilities. The worst thing to do is to have a gun and the knowledge to use it effectively (since they'll just claim you're a terrorist and throw you in Gitmo). You either go full militia-mode, or just don't get a gun. If you half-ass it, its worse off than not having a gun at all. Honestly, I'm too depressed to do anything like weapons-training. But if I don't have depression anymore, then sure thing.