this post was submitted on 04 May 2025
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I discovered when I joined a volunteer litter-picking group in my town that some people really hate trees. And I must emphasise HATE. They hate the shade they cast in summer, the way the leaves block the all-important View. They hate the fallen leaves in autumn. They hate the bare branches in winter. They hate the risk of branches falling in storms. They hate the racket the birds make. I was astonished - it never occurred to me that people would feel so strongly.
Turns out I'm a bloody tree-hugging extremist.
Yeah trees are assholes. They always ring my doorbell trying to sell me the book of Gaia. Constantly telling me "you can't smoke here, sir". There's a tree behind my house who constantly wears the same glasses as me. Whenever I buy new ones, a day later this tree has the same. He's constantly mocking me for no reason.
I think all trees should be cut down and burned. Algae never complain, are always kind and always say "good day sir" when you walk by.
A tree stole my wallet and had sex with my wife!
So many trees have destroyed people their houses with stupid forest fires. Have you ever heard of algae fires? No! Because algae aren't assholes!
That's just unhinged. The trees are the view.
Those "people" would better serve as fertilizer (specifically for trees)
I guess I'm too...born and raised in a forest?...to be the same species as those people.
Leaves are annoying in urban areas with full concrete/asphalt/metal/glass environments. Different people like different things and some aesthetics are incompatible.
annoying how?