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As a big, scary-looking dude, I hate going out in public because I know I freak solitary women out. I feel like I should wear a shirt that says "I apologize for being here," or something. I'm sorry the world is this way. Y'all deserve peace and security.
Is there anything people like me can do to assure those around us that we are not the ones to fear? Like, is there a tattoo I can get or a hat I can wear or something? I wish rapers and miscreants had a distinctive look that us regular folk could avoid.
Of course, I currently look like Harry Henderson with a septum piercing, so I guess probably a shave could help, but I really like my beard. It's my security blankie :-[
I think the big thing is engaging with people.
I'm average size, but historically have RBF, so to counter it I try to engage with people.
Eye contact is huge. We can tell you're friendly from that alone (when it's done in a friendly way, not the staring down kind, haha).
I have a couple big friends, and it's easy to tell which are friendly by how they carry themselves (they're both friendly, one just comes across more friendly). It's interesting to watch.
I typically make eye contact, do a little nod, and say "howdy" or "ay" in a sheepish manner.
I try to project the image of "if you need anything, let me know."
The “alt” style helps a lot, actually (ime). I trust metal head-looking dudes over frat boy-looking dudes 1000% but that’s anecdotal
I was a bouncer for years, I'd take a metal night over a pop / frat crowd any time. Polo shirt and chinos, watch your drink ladies.
Honestly nail polish too. Cis men are usually too afraid to wear any, so when they do it's often a good sign. Bonus points if it isn't black
Hell yeah, nice. That makes me feel a little better.
You may not be black, but I think this still applies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYhXXRXiJBU
Damn, that's good 😆
Just ignore us. Consistent eye contact, staring, or obviously paying a lot of unwarranted attention to us is way more threatening than just being big or burly.
So you mean I have to act like a normal human being? Fuck. I'm too curious and autistic for that. Are you sure there's not a hat I can wear?
There's a hat for the opposite of this. This isn't fair.
(Mostly joking)
I usually make a point to take off my hood if I have one on, and generally lift my head and maybe give them a nod/smile, or otherwise indicate that "I've seen you, and I'm letting you see my face clearly". If we're alone in a dark, empty place at night, I'll also make a point to cross the street away from them.
I've talked to some women about how they prefer men to act, and they generally said they think what I do is decent. Of course, that's reliant on the whole "make eye-contact, nod, smile, and wave"-thing being done in a disarming and "I'm friendly and I see you, and I'm going to mind my own business"-way, and not a creepy way.