this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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The most incendiary 2-word phrase in the English language. Said by anyone to anyone.
It's belittling and aggressive and dismissive and infuriating all at once.
Even saying something as similar as "get a grip!" has a much better chance of success.
calm down, it's not that incendiary.
Found worse by accident. "Chill". Just, nothing more.
I really have to keep watvh on myself to not use it...it was my default...
Personally I would still prefer to hear chill, maybe you stumbled on that person's trigger. Or perhaps it's an age thing. I associate it with peers, but maybe for them it's parents.
How bout you chill and calm down?
Would work on me. Trained myself as a teen to not rely on emotions at all. Trauma aside, I do actually step back and rethink if hit with these.
Which really didn't help notice how irritating "chill" is xD
Sometimes people do need to calm down though
So use any one of the multitudinous other phrases available in English to actually HELP them become calmer or less agitated. Respond to the facts of the individual situation instead. "He's not worth it." "You're better than this/you have been doing so much better, don't let this set you back." "You're in a bad trip man, gonna have to ride it out as easy as you can." "Chill, dude." "Take a deep breath." (This may be followed by one loud long scream, but that's cathartic and may be followed by rational behavior)
Nobody, no matter how much they need to get control over their emotions and behavior, needs to "calm down".
I've found that "you're embarrassing yourself" usually produces results with a large magnitude and a highly variable direction
I've said "nobody wants to hear your bullshit" which also tends to have a very large effect. Which way the effect swings is completely unknowable but the dynamic will be very different after haha
You need to relax...
You are getting sleeeeepy...
the suns getting real low
That's a good one!
Edit: Maybe the Avengers could have gotten Big Hulk going for them if they'd told Banner to calm down!
... don't do it.
It's funny how upset some get over the phrase when in fact they really do need to calm down. You need to use some roundabout term for it, "chill", even though it means the same thing.
Interesting thing