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Blue whale.
You never said I had to win.
They also never said in which environment:
Stranded blue whale.
In the ocean. I punch it once, it swims away. "Yeah bitch, you better run!"
With all the blubber, would a whale even notice a punch, especially if the force was lessened due to water drag?
Notice it? Likely. Interpret it as a threat? Unlikely. Swat you like an annoying insect? Probably.
if it was a Right Whale then by all accounts, it'd take it as a come on.
they're lovers not fighters.
Doesn’t “think you can take on” imply winning though? If not at least surviving with most limbs attached.
Sit in its blowhole until it suffocates?
Obviously I am not advocating for these beautiful majestic giant beasts to be killed but if it was a life or death thing... I'd be getting in that blowhole like a big old human tampon.
They can hold their breath for 30-90 minutes and can dive to 1000 feet. Good luck.
Their error was sitting in the blowhole. The trick is you have to go in head first so you can steal the oxygen from the whales lungs.
I'm so fucked. But I'll wedge myself in deep, if I'm going down I'm taking it with me!
(reality would be it'd surface and blow me out like a floppy ragdoll)
Later the whale is telling his buddy about the worst booger he had to get rid of.
They have 2 20inch holes, so make sure to bring a buddy!
It isn't blowhole.
Get him on land and just keep punching for a few hours and you might just win!