this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2023
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If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Kek
https://youtu.be/ELkgiJD9KuM?si=Grh0PgpBJ2G6u-0y
Or, just squeeze them hard enough to squirt the juice into life's eyes and say, "next time I want cold hard CASH DAMMIT!" Or just take some prozac with a slice of lemon.
Hydraulic press time?
That's good for if you happen to get into your atomic discombobulator when a fly is in there and you come out being half a man with a fly's head. I hate when that happens - back to the hyudraulic press again!!