this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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I've seen a few posts recently calling people out for using "they" when referring to someone with gendered or neo pronouns.

As a long time dumb guy I was under the impression that gender neutral pronouns were basically always acceptable and I'm now concerned that I have been unintentionally making people uncomfortable.

My current understanding based on context is that once someone has made their pronouns known, unless specifically included, 'they' is no longer acceptable. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me out

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[–] OhNoMoreLemmy@lemmy.ml 2 points 9 months ago

So off the internet, transpeople are pretty forgiving and recognize that everyone fucks up occasionally. Transpeople misgender each other, but you know shit happens, they correct themselves and move on. If you don't know the right pronouns you can just acknowledge it, and it's basically fine.

Systematically getting it wrong and failing to correct or acknowledge your mistakes is a problem though. Depending where you are, purposely and persistently misgendering someone can be seen as harassment. Even if it's not harassment in your jurisdiction, it's a dick move, and you should just try not to be a dick.

On the internet, on the other hand, you get it wrong once, and someone will stop by to tell you you're committing a hate crime. That's just the cost of being online.