this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 78 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Grandpa was the 1978 regional Fingerblast champion in Fort Wayne Indiana

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 36 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Arthritis put an end to his professional career, but he's been dominating semi-pro, and your Nana, ever since.

[–] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 24 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Candidly, grandpa tells his story:

Back in my day, I could really tear it up. See these bad boys right here?

He blows on two fingers like the barrel of a smoking pistol

Yup, these babies made magic happen. I was the ramminest, jamminest son of a bitch this side of the mighty Mississipp’

A tear wells in his eye, as he recounts the memories. A Finger Blast from the past

[–] BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 7 months ago

"Believe it or not, Your ol' Pop pop over here could finger fuck a Harley to start on a cold day...."

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago

My grandpa never went pro in Fingerblasting, but the guy can untangle christmas lights using only his tongue, so I'm sure she's fine.

[–] BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 7 months ago

To shreds, you say.

[–] Fish@midwest.social 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)

As someone who lives in Fort Wayne, where is this Fingerblast Championship that you speak of?

[–] homesnatch@lemm.ee 6 points 7 months ago

Ask your mom, she's the competition subject.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

1978 provincial fingerblast champion in Utrecht then?

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Or maybe this fucker's a tukker and he's actually the 1978 regional fingerblast champion in Twente 😛

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

No from Twente he would be more of a handjob kind of guy: de Tukkerse rukker ;)

[–] pancakes@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 months ago

You can see it written on his face