this post was submitted on 09 Mar 2024
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I don’t have too much experience with this. My first girlfriend broke up with me because we were going to different colleges on the opposite sides of the state. We could’ve made it worked with some long driving - specifically, I was the one who suggested it would work - but she said we should seek people we can see more often.
I’m lucky I haven’t gotten close yet. But I’m glad we broke it off quickly because I don’t think I would’ve been too happy with the long distance.
It sounds like you were more than happy with the arrangement, but at the time, you said you guys were “obsessed” with each other. Maybe it’s the honeymoon phase, but if you two were truly obsessed then that’s not necessarily a great thing for a relationship.
For sure it’s going to hurt. I know you liked each other and all, but eventually that obsession has to go subside. If you both become uncomfortable with the distance, it may lead to other less desirable outcomes. The same thing if it’s a one sided like it is in this situation. She could’ve handled it a little more maturely, but I think if this continued you both would’ve been hurt.
It seems like she needed someone with her physically, and you needed someone emotionally. If that’s the case, she would’ve ended up the wrong person for your needs. Like in my case, I needed someone - anyone - to be with me in any way. But my ex needed someone to be with physically. Our needs conflicted and would’ve exacerbated had it continued.
You’ll find someone again. You said she brought this up recently. Maybe you could discuss your needs with the next person so you can decide whether it’s worth investing your time. But take your time now and distract yourself for a bit.