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Stubsack: weekly thread for sneers not worth an entire post, week ending Sunday 24 March 2024 (awful.systems)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by dgerard@awful.systems to c/techtakes@awful.systems

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Feel like you want to sneer about something but you don't quite have a snappy post in you? Go forth and be mid!

Any awful.systems sub may be subsneered in this subthread, techtakes or no.

If your sneer seems higher quality than you thought, feel free to cut'n'paste it into its own post, there’s no quota here and the bar really isn't that high

The post Xitter web has spawned soo many “esoteric” right wing freaks, but there’s no appropriate sneer-space for them. I’m talking redscare-ish, reality challenged “culture critics” who write about everything but understand nothing. I’m talking about reply-guys who make the same 6 tweets about the same 3 subjects. They’re inescapable at this point, yet I don’t see them mocked (as much as they should be)
Like, there was one dude a while back who insisted that women couldn’t be surgeons because they didn’t believe in the moon or in stars? I think each and every one of these guys is uniquely fucked up and if I can’t escape them, I would love to sneer at them.

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[–] V0ldek@awful.systems 15 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Jesus Christ, I'm a penis haver and reading this gives the same sensations as watching people be punched in the balls.

The amount of toxic masculinity brain rot required before you willingly go for such an invasive procedure is inconceivable to me.

Also, this fucking quote:

You have to treat your penis like a Rolex.

What in the fuck's mercy is this supposed to mean? You're supposed to change its battery every few years? Take it off at night? I have a watch, just, you know, not a Rolex, a normal-person fucking watch, and I can't decipher this. Is there some specific species of brain worm you get when you buy specifically a Rolex watch?

[–] V0ldek@awful.systems 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Bonus

Gordon Muir, a urologist in London, said that he’s been taking out Penumas “all the way across the bloody pond.”

Perfectly placed in the article, you're reading about a horrific predatory industry and then a Brit pops up saying "ah those fookin' yankee wankers, mangling cocks and sending them to me". Just all-round endearing.

[–] blakestacey@awful.systems 11 points 7 months ago

Kinda brings a whole new meaning to "overpaid, oversexed and over here"

[–] Architeuthis@awful.systems 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The amount of toxic masculinity brain rot required before you willingly go for such an invasive procedure is inconceivable to me.

The writer says there's some indication it may literally be a psychiatric condition along the lines of body dysmorphia, and that most people who go through with it are at least average sized but unhealthily preoccupied with their member, consistently reporting feelings of shame and helplessness.

She also says that supposedly the consensus on the evolution of genital size has been quietly moving away from assumptions about giving an edge with inseminatory success and towards them being just for show, as apparently male primates do tend to involve their genitals in threat displays. Which is to say, maybe for some people it's just unusual wiring that manifests as penis related existential angst.

Still, it doesn't mention the extent to which the above is just evo-psych enthusiasts idly theorizing, or if field testing actually showed it's possible to win a showdown with a gorilla by dropping trou and windmilling.

And then there's also the guy who had the procedure done and is super happy about it, except he's now looking at options for enlarging his wife's vaginal canal and entrance as she's been having a rough time of it, and who I'm sure would be found out to be the walking and talking personification of toxic masculinity if you were to give him the time of day.

[–] mountainriver@awful.systems 7 points 7 months ago

Penis enlargement and breast implants can be understood as gender affirming surgery for cis people, it is just an affirmation of the gender assigned at birth. Rather than go to primates I would point to ancient Greece and it's statues to make the point that ideals of gender and bodies shift over time. Greek statues shows as I understand it often an ideal body, which by the norms of its time included a rather small penis. So maybe some male ancient Greeks wished there were treatments to shrink their package?

With gorillas, my understanding is that primates that have very unequal sizes between the sexes has small penises, while its among the primates with roughly equal body size you find larger penises. So akin to plummage, the males showing off of that their bodies can afford to waste resources, and thus presumably is very fit. I am no biologist, but I think this means that if you try to win a domination fight with a gorilla, it may show who is the boss by showing off its physical strength. So not recommended.

[–] carlitoscohones@awful.systems 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I'm now imagining populations of penis havers who scoff at the enlarged ones behaving like the Rolex aficionados who play "spot the fake Rolex" and get into all kinds of watch minutiae. Look at the telltale marks around the base - definitely enlarged, not like my 100% natural model, which comes 2.5 seconds fast per day.

[–] V0ldek@awful.systems 10 points 7 months ago

You can see it's not genuine Penuma since its not leaking puss all over.

[–] jonhendry@iosdev.space 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

@V0ldek @hrrrngh

Tie it to your wrist with a metal chain?

[–] Soyweiser@awful.systems 8 points 7 months ago

Show it to others as a visual gaudy signal of wealth?

Or to tell time? lifts left testicle "ten" lifts right "thirteen".

[–] saucerwizard@awful.systems 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Oh god theres a whole watch ‘community’ and its toxic as fuck.

[–] V0ldek@awful.systems 5 points 7 months ago

"Guys will literally do anything instead of therapy" episode 2137